IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people suggest that a country should try to produce all the food for its population and import as little food as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree

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Some
people
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 argue that
country
Correct article usage
the country
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 should be self-sufficient in planting all the
ingridents
Correct your spelling
ingredients
 and producing
food
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instead
Linking Words
 of importing.
Although
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 encouraging local industry brings benefits, the shortcomings should not be neglected. Supporting domestic
food
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 production helps boost the local economy. By producing
food
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 locally, more job opportunities are provided
such
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 as farmers,
delivers
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deliveries
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 and producers. If more
people
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 are able to get a job and earn
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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a living, the unemployment rate is more likely to reduce and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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poverty may be eradicated.
Besides
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, local industrialization will contribute to
improve
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improving
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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gender equality. Women who are equipped
working
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with working
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 skills
such
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 as cooking or
texile
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textile
 work may gain access to stable income rather than depending solely on their husbands or remaining confined to household duties. salary
instead
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 of
relying
Add the preposition
relying on
relying upon
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 their husband and taking care of their children at home. In the long run,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society will be more stable and the criminal rate
can be
Verb problem
will
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decreased
Wrong verb form
decrease
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.
However
Linking Words
, avoiding
food
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 import altogether restricts cultural diversity. By importing
prodcuts
Correct your spelling
products
 from other countries,
people
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 are able to buy exotic
food
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 from the grocery store and try cuisines from other countries without
gooing
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going
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 abroad. It is the culture diversity that improves
people
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's happiness in daily life. For children, these experiences contribute to broadening their horizons and developing an international view, which
also
Linking Words
equip
Change the verb form
equips
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 them with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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communication skills. In conclusion,
while
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 there are valid reasons to encourage local
food
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 production, I disagree with the idea of eliminating
food
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 imports entirely. A balanced approach that supports domestic agriculture
while
Linking Words
 allowing global trade is far more practical and culturally enriching.

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task achievement
Expand on your introduction to clearly state your position on the extent of your agreement or disagreement.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and is logically organized; consider using topic sentences for clarity.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or case studies to support your arguments about local food production and cultural diversity.
content
The essay presents a balanced view on the topic, recognizing both the benefits and drawbacks of local food production.
structure
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your perspective and suggests a balanced approach.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • food security
  • domestic production
  • import dependency
  • political instability
  • sustainability
  • carbon footprint
  • nutritional deficiencies
  • comparative advantage
  • agricultural methods
  • local economies
What to do next:
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