IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

'Prevention is better than cure''. Researching and treating disease is too costly so it would be better to invets in preventative measures. To what extent do you agree

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The medical treatment cost has increased rapidly recently. Many
people
Use synonyms
 think that it is possible to avoid
this
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 financial load and maintain a healthy community by following some protocols that help prevent illness. In
this
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 essay, I will explain why I strongly agree with
this
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 statement. One key reason for investing in stopping a disease is that, in many cases, the treatment is consuming
money
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 without a recovery hope.
For example
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, cancer is a disease which is rarely
people
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accured
Correct your spelling
accused
 of.
Moreover
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, its meditation journey is long and expensive. Investing
money
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 in spreading cancer awareness in the community,
such
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 as stop-smoking campaigns, is much more beneficial in the long term for individuals and societies.
On the other hand
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, putting more
money
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 into research that helps to create a healthy generation equipped with tools to keep themselves safe will limit the spread of diseases.
For instance
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, research done in Jordan recently showed that
people
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 who wear masks are 10% less likely to be infected with COVID-19. Building a strong community with individuals who know how to take care of their health will not only raise the mortality age
,
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apply
show examples
 but
also
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 decrease the death percentage. In conclusion, investing
money
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 in preventing diseases means saving
money
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 and
people
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's lives in the future. Individuals and governments should work together to increase awareness and guide communities to a disease-free environment.

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Task Achievement
Consider refining your arguments to present more specific examples and details. This will enhance the clarity of your comprehensive ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to define your thesis more explicitly in your introduction and ensure that all your points clearly support it throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that the language used is grammatically correct, as a few inaccuracies may affect the overall fluency of the writing. Review for minor grammatical errors, particularly in subject-verb agreement and phrasing.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a clear position on the topic, showing strong agreement with preventative measures over treatment.
Task Achievement
You successfully provided relevant examples to support your points, which helps in illustrating your ideas effectively.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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