IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The first chart below shows the number of airline crew (pilots, stewards etc) needed to fly a passenger plane between Australia and a number of other countries. The second chart shows the number of passenger complaints per plane journey made on these routes, and average kilogram (kg) weight of luggage (or baggage) carried per passenger.

The first chart below shows the number of airline crew (pilots, stewards etc) needed to fly a passenger plane between Australia and a number of other countries. The second chart shows the number of passenger complaints per plane journey made on these routes, and average kilogram (kg) weight of luggage (or baggage) carried per passenger.
The first chart illustrates the number of airline crew needed to fly a passenger plane between Australia and Malaysia, New Zealand, Germany, and
Idonesia
Correct your spelling
Indonesia
. The second chart illustrates,
intsead
Correct your spelling
instead
, the percentage of passenger
complaints
Use synonyms
 and the weight of luggage (in kg) per
flights
Fix the agreement mistake
flight
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 these destinations.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the major number of airline crew are
in
Change preposition
on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
flights to Germany
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
15 people, and
these
Change the determiner
this
show examples
 flight has
also
Linking Words
 the most
weigth
Correct your spelling
weight
 of luggage (37kg) per flight.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, New Zealand has the lowest rate of people who work during flights (6) and the lowest weight (15kg), but it has the most
complaints
Use synonyms
 for the number of passengers (6).
Whereas
Linking Words
, Indonesia and
Maleysia
Correct your spelling
Malaysia
 have mostly the same kilos of baggage and
complaints
Use synonyms
, even though there is a difference between the
airplane
Change the spelling
aeroplane
show examples
 crew.
Overall
Linking Words
, those charts show that the more people working in an
airplane
Change the spelling
aeroplane
show examples
, the fewer
complaints
Use synonyms
 they have, despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the kilos of
luggange
Correct your spelling
luggage
 they carry.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words complaints with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "illustrates" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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