IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems as well as practical problems. Do you agree or disagree with this idea?

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Nowadays, staying in
a states
Correct the article-noun agreement
states
a state
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 where you need to speak foreign
languages
Use synonyms
 can
result
Add the preposition
result in
result from
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 serious social issues
as well as
Linking Words
 practical issues. The writer agrees with
this
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 statement since
this
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 will give many drawbacks,
for
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instance
Add the comma(s)
instance,
show examples
 language barriers and employment challenges.
This
Linking Words
 essay will elaborate on these examples. First and foremost, one of the main problems in the workplace is
inability
Add an article
the inability
an inability
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 to communicate effectively with stakeholders and colleagues.
This
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 circumstance will lead to social isolation and promotion delayed. To illustrate, if you can't explain well about tasks with your co-workers in the group, it will be hard for you to finish the assignments from the managers.
Moreover
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, your friends will not
do
Verb problem
apply
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interaction
Replace the word
interact
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 with you since you can't speak in their
languages
Use synonyms
.
In addition
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, it will be hard for you to be promoted. Lack of communication
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
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 will give you
lower
Correct article usage
a lower
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 score
in
Change preposition
on
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 performance
indicator
Fix the agreement mistake
indicators
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, the stakeholders will choose other
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
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 who have better
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
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 in communication.
Furthermore
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, limited language proficiency can prevent you
to
Change preposition
from
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 having job opportunities and career advancement.
This
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 condition will lead to economic challenges. If you have
ability
Change the article
the ability
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 to speak in many foreign
languages
Use synonyms
, you will have many benefits. Many companies are willing to pay higher since they believe that you can communicate in
effective
Change the article
an effective
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 way with other employees.
For instance
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, if there is a meeting, they don't need to hire
translator
Add an article
a translator
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 to explain the project to you since you have already known their
languages
Use synonyms
.
To sum up
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, there are many advantages if you can speak in foreign
languages
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. You can overcome the language barriers and employment challenges in the world.

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task achievement
Develop your ideas more fully with clearer explanations and examples. For instance, elaborate on how language barriers specifically affect job performance.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs have clear topic sentences and that each sentence logically follows from the one before it. This will improve the overall coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Include a more definitive conclusion that reiterates your main points and reflects on the implications of your argument.
task achievement
You effectively introduced the topic and your stance on the issue, stating that you agree with the given idea.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your points about employment challenges and social isolation.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Language barrier
  • Cultural norms
  • Social integration
  • Isolation
  • Social faux pas
  • Essential services
  • Healthcare
  • Education
  • Banking
  • Employment opportunities
  • Career advancement
  • Social networks
  • Emotional impact
  • Anxiety
  • Mental health
What to do next:
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