IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

the pie chat showes the percentage of total school spending in 1981, 1991 and 2001

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The graph gives information about the percentage of money spent on insurance, teacher
salaries
Use synonyms
, furniture and equipment, resource
for example
Linking Words
 books and other worker’s
salaries
Use synonyms
 in 1981, 1991 and 2001. The
unites
Replace the word
units
show examples
 are measured with
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 three categories
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 insurance,
teacher’s
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers’
show examples
salaries
Use synonyms
 and furniture and equipment gradually
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
, over the measured period.
While
Linking Words
,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, other worker
salaries
Use synonyms
 and resources
for example
Linking Words
 books dropped slowly.
Additionally
Linking Words
, teacher’s
salaries
Use synonyms
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 the highest proportion during the period. The percentage of teacher’s
salaries
Use synonyms
 and other workers
salaries
Use synonyms
 showed a much bigger figure, with 40% and 28%, compared to other categories in 1981.2001, which is growth and a drop to 45% and 15%, the figure for recourses
for example
Linking Words
 books and furniture and equipment decreased and increased to 9% and 23%in 2001.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the percentage of spending
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 insurance was smaller for the other categories in 1981 with 2%.
This
Linking Words
 increased to 8% in 2001.which was the lowest section during the period.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to start with a clearer overview that summarizes the main trends in the graph before diving into details.
Language and Mechanics
Double-check grammar and punctuation, especially in places where you have combined sentences; this will improve clarity.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific percentages and comparisons to strengthen your arguments and demonstrate the trends effectively.
Task Achievement
You have correctly identified key changes in different spending categories, which reflects a good understanding of the graph and data presented.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay includes an overall statement that highlights the main trends, which is essential for the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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