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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is better for young people to get advice from old people than young ones. Do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
I will
duscus
Correct your spelling
discuss
discus
 in
this
Linking Words
 essay
it
Correct word choice
whether it
show examples
 is better for young
people
Use synonyms
 to get
advice
Use synonyms
 from old
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
?.
Change the punctuation
.
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 Or the age
is does
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not
Correct your spelling
matter
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mater
Correct your spelling
matter
show examples
,
Body paragraph 1
first
in my opinion
Add the comma(s)
, in my opinion,
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 I agree
with
Change preposition
apply
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that it is better to get
advice
Use synonyms
 from older
people
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because they
are usually have
Change the verb form
usually have
show examples
 more
experence
Correct your spelling
experience
 than young
people
Use synonyms
 in life and
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
knowlege
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 is better.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
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 if I want
an
Remove the article
advice
a piece of advice
a bit of advice
show examples
advice
Use synonyms
to get
Change preposition
about getting
show examples
 in great job I prefer to ask
some one
Correct your spelling
someone
show examples
 that old enough and
work
Wrong verb form
has worked
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 hard and
try
Wrong verb form
tried
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 too many jobs,
on
Change preposition
than
show examples
 ask
someone
Use synonyms
 that young and only
join
Wrong verb form
joined
show examples
 one great job because it is maybe
a good luck
Remove the article
good luck
a bit of good luck
a stroke of good luck
a piece of good luck
show examples
 but the older
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
 has more than one experence and the chance that it is good luck to join all
this
Linking Words
 jobs almost 0%.
Body paragraph 2
But some
people
Use synonyms
 say that it is better to get
advice
Use synonyms
 from
someone
Use synonyms
 who is young because he
find
Change the verb form
finds
show examples
 the way faster
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 older
people
Use synonyms
 and
thay
Correct your spelling
they
 say
for example
Linking Words
 get
advice
Use synonyms
 from
someone
Use synonyms
now
Correct pronoun usage
who now
show examples
study
Correct subject-verb agreement
studies
show examples
 better
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
someone
Use synonyms
 who is
finsh
Correct your spelling
finish
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
before
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a few years because things change year by year and you have to get
advice
Use synonyms
 from who do the thing now not from who try it before years and because
every thing
Correct your spelling
everything
show examples
change
Change the verb form
changes
show examples
 with years.
Conclusion
to
counclode
Correct your spelling
conclude
this
Linking Words
 there are a lot of opinions and ideas but there are
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
older
people
Use synonyms
do
Correct pronoun usage
who do
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 not know how to give
Correct your spelling
advice
advices
Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
show examples
 and maybe give you
a
Correct article usage
the
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 wrong
advice
Use synonyms
 in life and there are young
people
Use synonyms
know
Correct pronoun usage
who know
show examples
 how to give the
Correct your spelling
advice
advices
Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
show examples

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coherence and cohesion
Improve the clarity of your main points by structuring paragraphs more distinctly and ensuring each paragraph focuses on one key idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer transitions between ideas to guide the reader through your argument more effectively.
language accuracy
Correct spelling mistakes ('duscus', 'pepole', 'experence', 'knowlege', 'to counclode') and grammatical errors to enhance the overall quality of your writing.
task achievement
Strengthen your conclusion by summarizing your main points clearly and stating your final opinion more decisively.
task achievement
You provided examples to support your argument, which helps to illustrate your points.
task achievement
You presented both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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