IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some say that students should not be exposed to teachers' opinions on social and political issues in the classroom. Others, however, think that it is helpful for students to hear various perspectives. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Some
people
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 believe that teachers should not provide their
opinions
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 on social and political issues in the classroom
while
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 others argue that talking about these topics is acceptable and beneficial.
This
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 essay will discuss both views and explain why I think that it is
no
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not
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 right and wrong to share
about
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apply
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social and political concerns because it depends on the maturity of
students
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. On the one hand, some
people
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 say that
opinions
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 on social and political problems should not be mentioned in the classroom because
children
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 are not mature enough to carefully consider
about
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apply
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that information. Younger
students
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 tend to believe and follow their
teachers
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teacher's
teachers'
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 comments over their own
opinions
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, thinking that adults are always correct. If educators have strong
opinions
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 and biases that support only their preferred politicians
although
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 they are not good,
students
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 will be encouraged to support these authorities.
As a result
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, the wrong persons can be more popular, leading to unfair policies.
On the other hand
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, sharing
opinions
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 on social and political issues can be useful to
students
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 as it broadens
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students
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students'
student's
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 perspectives and enhances life
skills
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. By listening to others' ideas,
children
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 can learn about critical thinking and deep listening which are essential in their future lives. If
children
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 can adapt these
skills
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, they will be more intelligent can able to choose what they should believe.
For instance
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,
children
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 without critical thinking might trust all
contents
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content
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 presented online, potentially being influenced by bad
people
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.
In contrast
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, if
students
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 are
equiped
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equipped
 with these crucial life
skills
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, they will carefully consider all possibilities. In conclusion, social and political
opinions
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 should not be emphasized in the classroom if
students
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 are too young because they cannot critically think about those ideas, leading
to
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them to
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 follow their teachers instinctually.
However
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, if they are mature enough, seeing other
people
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's
perspective
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perspectives
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 can help enhance life
skills
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such
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 as critical thinking and deep listening.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to support your arguments. For instance, you could mention specific political issues or historical examples that illustrate your points more clearly.
coherence
Ensure that your arguments are well-linked. Using more cohesive devices like 'however', 'furthermore', and 'in addition' can enhance the flow between ideas.
coherence
Make sure to proofread your essay for minor grammatical errors, such as 'no right and wrong' which should be 'there is no right or wrong'. Such errors can affect the clarity of your ideas.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly outlines the topic and indicates your stance, which is an important part of an IELTS essay.
task achievement
You effectively present both views on the topic, demonstrating an understanding of the complexity of the issue, which is commendable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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