IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about thr percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040

The graph below gives information about thr percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line chart illustrates key figures about four Asian countries where the
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
population
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 changed since the
year
Use synonyms
 1970 to 2020 with expectations
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the future.
Overall
Linking Words
, the four nations have shown steady growth in the number of people living in the urban areas. Yet, some fluctuation has taken place but a rather smooth rise is more
noticable
Correct your spelling
noticeable
. As for Malaysia, a peak of 80% has been reached in the
year
Use synonyms
 2020 after accounting for only 30% of the
population
Use synonyms
. That peak is expected to remain up until the
year
Use synonyms
 2040. Indonesia
on the other hand
Linking Words
 has shown a dramatic acceleration after only having a little over 10% of people living in the city back in 1970 it grew
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to make up almost
have
Correct your spelling
half
show examples
 of the
population
Use synonyms
. It is
also
Linking Words
 expected to have a slight rise by the
year
Use synonyms
 2040 accounting
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 60% In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
terms of Thailand, barely an increase is noticed,
however
Linking Words
, it is seen to make up a little less than half of the
population
Use synonyms
 by the
year
Use synonyms
 2040
although
Linking Words
 it was at less than 20% and 30% back in 1970 and today, respectively. The
philippines
Change the capitalization
Philippines
show examples
has shown
Wrong verb form
showed
show examples
 a slight increase in the
year
Use synonyms
 1990 taking 50% but that growth was not for long where it rather had a slight fall to 40% ,
however
Linking Words
,
luckly
Correct your spelling
luckily
 it is expected to show
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
steady growth.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words population, year with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: