IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The crime rate nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advance technology which can prevent and solve crime. Do you agree or disagree?

It is asserted that
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crime
Correct article usage
the crime
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 rate is declining nowadays because of technological advancements that help to avoid and solve
crime
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 in
comparsion
Correct your spelling
comparison
 with the past.
While
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 there are significant impacts of
technology
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,
such
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 as pinpointing perpetrators, I disagree that it reduces the number of crimes. In my opinion,
although
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 it prevents
people
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 to commit a physical
crime
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, the more developments happen in
technology
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, the more
people
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 tend to commit a
cyber
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cybercrime
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crime
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. The role of
technology
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 is undeniable in finding the locations of culprits. In the past, police
department
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departments
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 had limited resources, which allowed offenders
escape
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to escape
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 the city and even country before officers
find
Wrong verb form
found
show examples
 them. At the present time,
however
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, developed GPS systems assist cops
to track
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in tracking
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the
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apply
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phone signals and
identify
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identifying
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 the location within hours.
Although
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,
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apply
show examples
technology
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 is quite beneficial and facilitates the process of deterring and solving a
crime
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, there are numerous drawbacks
of
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to
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 it.
People
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 who are not physically
compentent
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competent
 to
perpetruate
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perpetuate
 an offense, usually, do it through the means of social
network
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networks
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.
In addition
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, tech-savors acknowledge the risks of
comitting
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committing
 cyber crimes and
shields
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shield
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 themselves from any possible leakages that may give them away.
This
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 kind of incident happened in the United States
,
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apply
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 when a secret service IT expert hid himself to convey
the
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a
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 top-secret message to the world during the
cold war
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Cold War
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. In conclusion,
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crime
Add an article
the crime
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 rate is falling nowadays because of the developments in
technological
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a technological
the technological
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 realm which have noticeable effects
to find
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on finding
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the
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apply
show examples
felons. Yet, I believe, it enables
people
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 to create and commit different and new
crime
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 types.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction. This will help the reader understand your position more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader through your ideas.
task achievement
Provide more relevant examples to support your points. This will strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion that outline your position.
task achievement
You provide some examples of how technology helps in crime detection.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • surveillance cameras
  • advanced security systems
  • potential criminals
  • law enforcement
  • AI (artificial intelligence)
  • big data analytics
  • forensic science
  • public awareness
  • social media
  • online platforms
  • crime prevention
  • crime rates
  • counterargument
  • cybercrime
  • technological misconduct
What to do next:
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