IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries in the world, some people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this good for a country. Others think that the government should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss the both views and give your opinion.

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In a huge
number
Use synonyms
 of countries, some
individuals
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 have extremely
high paying
Add a hyphen
high-paying
show examples
 jobs. Some consider it a boon for the nation because incentives can motivate
employes
Correct your spelling
employees
show examples
 to
work
Use synonyms
 harder. Meanwhile, some believe the government should enforce restrictions on it, as it increases discrimination among the
population
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. I agree with the former statement, it is a beneficial trend as it helpful to reduce the
number
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 of
people
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 migrating for a pay raise. Some
people
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 believe that
high paying
Add a hyphen
high-paying
show examples
 jobs are one of the
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
 for increasing discrimination among the
population
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. It increases the belief that economic
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
 define an
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individuals
Change noun form
individual's
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 worth.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
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 leads to
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
show examples
 in trust, empathy, and sympathy among the
people
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 and it can
also
Linking Words
 have a negative effect on the mental and physical health of an individual.
For example
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, the
number
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 of
people
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 suffering from depression has witnessed a rise with increasing capitalism.
However
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, some proportion of the
population
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 thinks high-pay grade motivates
individulas
Correct your spelling
individuals
 to
work
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 harder and be promoted to higher posts at
work
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 to
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
 appraisal. It develops a sense of healthy competition among the colleagues which can motivate the employee to
work
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 harder and improve.
For example
Linking Words
, the percentage of the appraisal is decided
according to
Linking Words
 an individual contribution
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the company. In my opinion, it is necessary to reward the more skilful and talented
individuals
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.
This
Linking Words
 helps them to stay motivated and perform up to their potential.
Furthermore
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,
this
Linking Words
 will
also
Linking Words
 help to decrease the
number
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 of
people
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 migrating to different countries for high salaries.
For example
Linking Words
,
high
Change the article
a high
the high
show examples
number
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 of
Indian
Correct article usage
the Indian
show examples
population
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 migrates to different countries because of
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 opportunities for high pay-checks. In conclusion,
high paying
Add a hyphen
high-paying
show examples
 jobs are good for the country as
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 increase healthy
competitions
Fix the agreement mistake
competition
show examples
,
keeps
Correct subject-verb agreement
keep
show examples
 an individual motivated to
work
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 harder and
also
Linking Words
 help the country to
reatin
Correct your spelling
retain
 their talented
individuals
Use synonyms
.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure clear topic sentences for each paragraph to help guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Elaborate more on your points to provide a deeper understanding of your arguments.
technical accuracy
Check for grammatical errors and typos, as they can detract from the overall impression of your writing.
task achievement
You present conflicting viewpoints and provide your opinion, which is essential for this type of essay.
task achievement
Your examples illustrate your points reasonably well and contribute to your argument.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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