It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in the media. Do you agree that this is the main cause of juvenile crime? What solutions can you offer to solve this issue?

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Nowadays, there has been an increasing number of juvenile
delinquency
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delinquents
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, causing problematic impacts on our society.
While
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some argue that the prevalence of violence in social media is the main cause of
this
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phenomenon, others believe that there are more factors behind
this
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.
Accordingly
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,
this
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essay will investigate
this
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global matter and its cause and explore a few feasible strategies to tackle
this
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challenge.
Firstly
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, the core contributing factor
of
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to
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this
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crime is
due to
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the shattering of family structure in contemporary society. Resulted of the economic inflation crisis, many
parents
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struggle to maintain proper family hours, leaving many young
children
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unsupervised during afterschool hours.
This
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lack of role modelling from
parents
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significantly reduces the amount of opportunities for
children
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to develop positive
behaviours
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. On top of the preceding factor, mobile devices
also
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expose negative influences
to
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on
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our young adults. Many reports have recognised the prevalence of lacking parental guidance in
children
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's use of social media.
Subsequently
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, kids were heavily influenced by the explicit aggressive
behaviours
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featured in the games they played or online conversations, as they
have
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were
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not yet acquainted with the capabilities to identify what
is
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was
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right or wrong.
This
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then
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further
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leads to a series of
imitation
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imitations
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of the negative
behaviours
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by the teenagers. To prevent more teenagers from falling into the criminal pathway,
parents
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and schools should work collaboratively to model the correct
behaviours
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for our kids. At schools, teachers can develop a curriculum to explicitly teach students
the
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apply
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ethical conduct and model how to regulate our emotions using appropriate communicative tools rather than aggressive actions. At home,
parents
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can spend more time with their kids, supervising their screen times
as well as
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helping them to distinguish inappropriate content online. Conclusively,
it is clear that
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there are multiple factors that trigger the growing number of juvenile crime cases, namely family structure changes, lack of supervision and the influence of social media.
Therefore
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, solving
this
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phenomenal issue requires a consistent effort committed by both school and family to facilitate our
children
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to use their devices appropriately and construct their abilities to not be influenced by the aggressive culture online.

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples or evidence to support your points, especially in your main arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that all sentences connect smoothly to enhance the overall flow; consider using more cohesive devices for better transitions.
task achievement
Clarify your main argument in the introduction by explicitly stating your stance on the media's influence compared to other factors.
coherence and cohesion
You have presented a clear structure in your essay with a logical introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
Your discussion of family structure and its impacts on juvenile crime is insightful and relevant to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • juvenile crime
  • media violence
  • aggression
  • desensitization
  • normalization
  • socio-economic status
  • family environment
  • peer influence
  • media literacy
  • content regulation
  • positive recreational activities
  • parental supervision
  • youth psychology
  • psychological impact
  • violence exposure
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