IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Currently children have less responsibilities than they had in the past some say this is a good change some argue that it had negative effect on children. Discuss both views and give your opinion based on your personal experience.

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With the passage of
Use synonyms
time
Add a comma
time,
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 it is believed that nowadays
children
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 have far
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
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 responsibilities than
children
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 in the past. It is a debatable issue
that
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apply
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whether it's a positive change or negative.
This
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 essay will shed light on both views before supporting my own opinion.
According to
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 the former view, that's really a reality that kids are now
more
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apply
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free from
diiferent
Correct your spelling
different
 duties as compared to
the
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apply
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adolescents in the past. Parents are primarily responsible
behind
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for
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this
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 notion.
Because in
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In
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 the old
days
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days,
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 it was a firm belief of elders that juveniles always grow up the way; they are trained during their childhood. So , the kids were asked to fulfil different duties
along with
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 their parents.
For instance
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, as I recall my early childhood
i
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I
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 still remember that it was my obligation to set the table before the dinner.
Although
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, I was not very mature
;
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,
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but
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apply
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gradually
this
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 habit developed a sense of giving
helping
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a helping
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 hand to others
at
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in
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the
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their
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time
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 of need.
On the other hand
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 ,most
of
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apply
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the
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apply
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children
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 spend most of their
time
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 sitting
idle
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idly
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 or
Linking Words
while
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apply
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using technological gadgets.Most
of
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apply
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the
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apply
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mothers think that
children
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 already have a lot of study pressure on them and they have very hectic routines so they prefer their
children
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 to take as much rest as possible when they are at home.
This
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 is
also
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 the major cause of obesity in youngsters.
In addition
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 to these reasons, there are
also
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 some benefits
for
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to
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 the latter view.
Children
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 get more and more
time
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 to play, explore and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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rest .
This
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also
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boom
Verb problem
boosts
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 their abilities in studies because they are free from
burden
Add an article
the burden
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 of extra responsibilities.
For example
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, kids who have
less
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fewer
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 financial problems and physical duties
on
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apply
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them
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apply
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, perform better in
studies
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their studies
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. After discussing
pros
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the pros
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 and cons of
this
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 notion, I am still biased towards the idea of involving
children
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 in different kinds of
resposibilities
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
 because
this
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 enhances contentment and hard work among the
children
Use synonyms
 .

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task achievement
The introduction clearly presents the topic, but it could be stronger by briefly stating your opinion, which will provide a clearer direction for the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure a smoother flow between paragraphs by using more linking words and phrases. This will help to make connections between the ideas more explicit.
task achievement
Expand on your personal experiences in a more detailed manner, as this will strengthen your arguments and make your point of view clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Check for spelling and grammatical errors (e.g., 'diiferent' should be 'different', 'resposibilities' should be 'responsibilities') to enhance clarity and professionalism.
task achievement
You effectively discuss both sides of the argument, which demonstrates good understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your personal example about setting the table adds a relatable touch to your argument and engages the reader's interest.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Responsibilities
  • Extracurricular activities
  • Well-rounded development
  • Hobbies
  • Stress
  • Pressure
  • Creative
  • Curious
  • Life skills
  • Problem-solving
  • Time management
  • Independence
  • Entitlement
  • Dependency
  • Challenges
  • Discipline
  • Balanced development
What to do next:
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