IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph illustrates the average change in the prices monthly of three metals

The line graph illustrates the average change in the prices monthly of three metals
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line graph illustrates the average change in the prices monthly of three metals which are copper, pickle and zinc in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
2014
year
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
first
Use synonyms
 six
months
Use synonyms
 of copper prices witnessed small increases
then
Linking Words
 decreased the rest of the
months
Use synonyms
. Nickle
on the other hand
Linking Words
, experienced a downward trend in 2014.
while
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 zinc fluctuated the whole
year
Use synonyms
. Copper decreased slightly
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
first
Use synonyms
 4
months
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 it dropped in price for two
months
Use synonyms
 following 3
months
Use synonyms
 of increase and stable
then
Linking Words
 it went off until the end of the
year
Use synonyms
. The price of Nickel went down the
first
Use synonyms
 quarter of the
year
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 it levelled
of
Replace the word
off
show examples
 two times between May and July and September to November respectively, before it stabilized.
While
Linking Words
 zinc prices rose the
first
Use synonyms
 month
Linking Words
then
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 it
experienced
Verb problem
apply
show examples
gradually declined until May
then
Linking Words
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
levelled off and increased slightly between June to October
then
Linking Words
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 increased the
last
Linking Words
 two
months
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words year, first, months with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "change" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increases" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: