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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The graph below illustrates the typical every-monthly
change
Use synonyms
 of
copper
Use synonyms
,
nickel
Use synonyms
, and
zinc
Use synonyms
 prices in a specific year in 2014. The units are measured in percentage
change
Use synonyms
 in
price
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 per
month
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. 
Overall
Linking Words
, it clearly can be seen that the average monthly
price
Use synonyms
change
Use synonyms
 of all metals rose over the given period, with the exception of
zinc
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
zinc
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 had the most
change
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 in
price
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 over the twelve months.  In terms of the most
change
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 every
month
Use synonyms
price
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,
zinc
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 started at 1 in January.
Then
Linking Words
, in the next
month
Use synonyms
, it experienced a moderate rise to  3 before having a significant decrease to -1.
Moreover
Linking Words
, at
this
Linking Words
 point, it surpasses
copper
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 lines.
Next,
Linking Words
from
this
Linking Words
 onwards, remain steady until October, and in the
last
Linking Words
 two months reach the highest
price
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 at 2.  Regarding the other two metals with a slight
change
Use synonyms
 in prices, the average monthly of
copper
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 and
nickel
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 stood at exactly 2 and 6, respectively. The monthly
price
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 of
nickel
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 dropped significantly to  1 in March before experiencing another significant decrease and hitting a through at -3 in June.
However
Linking Words
, the
copper
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 monthly
change
Use synonyms
price
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 remained stable until the
last
Linking Words
month
Use synonyms
 at just below 2.
In addition
Linking Words
, in November,
nickel
Use synonyms
 and Cooper experienced a minor fluctuation in
price
Use synonyms
change
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, moreover".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words change, copper, nickel, zinc, price, month with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "change" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 8 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuate
  • volatile
  • stability
  • peak
  • trough
  • increment
  • decrement
  • steady
  • gradual
  • sharp
  • increase
  • decrease
  • month-on-month
  • average monthly change
  • commodity
  • benchmark
  • trend
  • precipitous
  • plateau
  • significant
  • marginal
  • surge
  • dip
  • plummet
  • soar
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