You visit a spot center regularly and there is a problem with changing rooms in it you have complained about it several times but with no success write a letter to a manager of the sports

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Dear Mr. John I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with the changing room in your gym. You do not know me completely ,
however
Linking Words
, you saw me one or two times at the reception. I am
a
Correct article usage
apply
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Susana Gener, I joined
on
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apply
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your gym one month ago
as well as
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I take classes which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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for beginners, Our trainer is Mark.
Firstly
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, I will begin with that,I
founded
Wrong verb form
found
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your gym on the website
by
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through
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advertisement. I chose it
due to
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it is convenient with location, situated near my accommodation. I go to do exercises regularly, with my friend Lily at around five or six in the evening.
Thus
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, the first thing I would like to draw your attention
is
Change preposition
to is
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that
changing
Correct article usage
the changing
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room is frequently crowded. The amenities that your
center
Change the spelling
centre
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provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
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are excellent,
however
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, it is impossible to take a shower after exercising.
Due to
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it is always busy or your staff closed it to clean.
In addition
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to
this
Linking Words
, it is unsafe to leave items
such
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as mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
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, money or valuable
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
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on the shelves. As there is no lock on it. Recently, I have been
losed
Correct your spelling
lost
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my clock which is expensive and valuable for me as my father gave it for my 18th birthday. I asked pertaining
to
Change preposition
about
show examples
this
Linking Words
issue to your administration,
Correct word choice
but unfortunately
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unfortunately
Add a comma
unfortunately,
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no one
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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answered
to
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apply
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my complaint. I felt that my request was ignored. To resolve the problem, I request you to see the cameras which
is
Change the verb form
are
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located in the clothing room
as well as
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help me to research the crime. I apologize
to write
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for writing
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to
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apply
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this
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letter,
however
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, I
extremely
Rephrase
really
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need your help. I am forward to hearing
you
Change preposition
from you
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as soon as possible.
Correct the word
Yours
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Your
Correct your spelling
Yours
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faithfully, Susana Gener

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task achievement
Ensure that the introduction clearly states the purpose of the letter and includes relevant details about the issue.
coherence
Make sure to separate different ideas into distinct paragraphs for better clarity.
task achievement
Use more polite language when making requests to present a more formal tone.
content
The letter includes specific details about the problem and personal experiences, which helps in illustrating the issue.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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