IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Which form of commute do you prefer,your personal car or public transportation? Why or why not ?

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(Introduction)
Decision
Add an article
The decision
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 between commuting with one's own
car
Use synonyms
 or using
public
Correct article usage
a public
show examples
 transport system
such
Linking Words
 as subways and buses to go between the home and the workplace can affect daily
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
 easily,because working individuals usually have to do
this
Linking Words
 as part of their daily routine.
While
Linking Words
 some people adore the comfort of private
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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,some people tend to use public
transportation
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
cost
Use synonyms
.Personally, I tend to prefer public transport, as it offers numerous advantages in terms of
cost
Use synonyms
 and less responsibility. (Less
responsiblity
Correct your spelling
responsibility
) Dealing with the issues of one's own vehicle could be excessively overwhelming.
For instance
Linking Words
, if a vehicle breaks down,the
car
Use synonyms
do
Change the verb form
does
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 not reach the destination,
stucking
Correct word choice
and the stuck
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 person
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
drive
Change the verb form
drives
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 by
in
Change preposition
apply
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the road until it is
mented
Correct your spelling
melted
.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
issues
Fix the agreement mistake
issue
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 can be at public
transportation
Use synonyms
,
another
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
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bus
always
Add a missing verb
is always
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 ready to gas to take you in.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the life continues stoplessly thanks to .For commuting,I prefer public
tranportation
Correct your spelling
transportation
 which
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
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 a stopless service over driving private vehicles which you need to handle yourself in order to avoid
this
Linking Words
 kind of struggle and some unexpected challenges. (
Cost
Use synonyms
) Using public
transportation
Use synonyms
 always is
cheaper
Correct article usage
the cheaper
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a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
way than the other,
due to
Linking Words
 shared the
cost
Use synonyms
 by the passengers. So,each passenger
pay
Change the verb form
pays
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 only a portion of the total
cost
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
,
Although
Linking Words
,the
cost
Use synonyms
 of a bus ticket could be under two dollars,you can go as much as the distance which can be gone by a private
car
Use synonyms
,spending over
approximitly
Correct your spelling
approximately
 two
hundreds
Change to singular
hundred
show examples
. So,I often use public
transportation
Use synonyms
 to go to the office and the home rather than my own
car
Use synonyms
 to save my money. (Conclusion)

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grammar
Make sure to proofread your essay for minor grammatical and punctuation errors, such as 'decision' instead of 'decision' and 'stucking' instead of 'stuck'.
coherence
Ensure that the ideas flow smoothly from one to the next. Using linking words can help to enhance coherence. For instance, instead of 'by contrast,' consider using 'on the other hand' or 'similarly'.
task achievement
Your points related to cost and less responsibility are valid; however, providing more detailed examples or personal anecdotes can strengthen your arguments. For instance, you can elaborate on how much money you save in a month by using public transport.
task achievement
Your preference for public transportation is clearly stated, which is a strong opening for your essay.
task achievement
You have addressed both advantages of public transport effectively, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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