In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
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What works well
2You have identified both sides of the argument well, presenting a balanced view on the topic.
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Improvement Suggestions
4Enhance your introduction by clearly stating your own viewpoint regarding whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
Consider adding more detailed examples or statistics to support your main points.
Improve the transitions between paragraphs to create a smoother flow of ideas.
Clarify and expand on the example of older people working in flexible jobs by providing more context or specific instances.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?