In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples

In many countries today,

people

Use synonyms

are now living longer than ever before.

While

Linking Words

some believe that

governments

Use synonyms

significantly suffer from

Add an article

an aging

the aging

show examples

aging

Change the spelling

ageing

show examples

population. Others claim that the advantages of their existence outweigh the disadvantages.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss

this

Linking Words

issue and clarify both perspectives with supportive examples. On the one hand, some

people

Use synonyms

believe that

governments

Use synonyms

are affected by the increase

Change preposition

show examples

elderly

people

Use synonyms

percentage.

Firstly

Linking Words

, elderly

people

Use synonyms

need health care more than younger age. We know that when

people

Use synonyms

get older more chronic diseases appear

such

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

high blood pressure, high sugar levels, low

hemoglobin

Change the spelling

haemoglobin

show examples

and

generally

Change the word

general

show examples

health issues, which require from government to prepare a lot of medicines and lab tests for them, which can be financially challenging for any country.

Secondly

Linking Words

, usually elderly

people

Use synonyms

live alone which

making

Wrong verb form

makes

show examples

them

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a target

Change preposition

for

show examples

thieves.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, many

people

Use synonyms

see the great advantages that

aging

Change the spelling

ageing

show examples

people

Use synonyms

add to society.

Governments

Use synonyms

can create flexible job opportunities suited to their abilities

for example

Linking Words

painting and security for malls or monitoring security TVs.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, parents often rely on them to help care for

children

Correct pronoun usage

their children

show examples

. The advice from grandparents to grandchildren especially, teenager has positively affected their behaviour.

Also

Linking Words

, some of the historical days or events can only be recalled or remembered by them. In conclusion,

Governments

Use synonyms

put a lot of effort

to mitigate

Change preposition

into mitigating

show examples

the impact of increasing the percentage of elderly

people

Use synonyms

and facilitating many of their resources to assist them to live happily and

get

Verb problem

apply

show examples

benefit from their wisdom and experience. We should all be thankful to them for their support as parents.

alyah.alshehriSat Apr 12 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Consider providing a clearer overview of the main points you will discuss in your essay in the introduction. It helps set expectations for the reader.

task achievement

When presenting arguments, ensure to develop them more fully with examples and elaboration. Some points feel a bit underdeveloped.

coherence and cohesion

Make a clearer distinction between your two perspectives. Label them as 'advantages' and 'disadvantages' in the body paragraphs to enhance clarity.

task achievement

You have clearly articulated the two perspectives on the ageing population issue, which is essential for addressing the task.

task achievement

Your essay concludes with a thoughtful reflection on the value of the elderly, capturing an important sentiment that resonates with many readers.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

ageing population
benefits
disadvantages
advantages
experience
knowledge
contribution
economy
society
healthcare
youth employment
community
intergenerational support
volunteerism
mentorship
increased demand
pension costs
social welfare systems
workforce
productivity
intergenerational conflict
technological adaptability
dependency
effective
skill development
employment opportunities
intergenerational solidarity
communication
lifelong learning
technological literacy
age-friendly
social policies
infrastructure

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