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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows tha value of one country's exports in various catagories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each catagory of exports in 2016 compared with 2015 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting main features, and make comparisons where relavant.

The chart below shows tha value of one country's exports in various catagories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each catagory of exports in 2016 compared with 2015 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting main features, and make comparisons where relavant.
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The bar chart illustrates the value of exports in 5 categories between 2015 and 2016,
while
Linking Words
 the table shows how their values changed during the same period.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of exports in most categories in 2016 was slightly higher than that in 2015 with the exception of
gems
Use synonyms
 and jewellery. In terms of ranking, both years experienced a similar trend,
leading
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
 by petroleum, engineered goods,
gems
Use synonyms
 and jewellery, and
agricutural
Correct your spelling
agricultural
products
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
textiles
Use synonyms
 were exported increasingly in the later
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
, surpassing the
number
Use synonyms
 of
agricutural
Correct your spelling
agricultural
products
Use synonyms
. Both petroleum
products
Use synonyms
 and engineered goods
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
secured the two
top
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
highest
Use synonyms
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
show examples
 of exports in 2015 and 2016, accounting for approximately 70%.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
gems
Use synonyms
 and
jewelly
Correct your spelling
jewellery
 that were exported dropped,
this
Linking Words
 category remained
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
third place.
Agricutual
Correct your spelling
Agricultural
products
Use synonyms
 were exported far lower the aforementioned
products
Use synonyms
 and it was
then
Linking Words
 overtaken by
textiles
Use synonyms
 in the later year. In terms of the
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 change, almost all
products
Use synonyms
 experienced an upward trend, growing 3% and 8.5% in petroleum and engineered goods respectively.
While
Linking Words
 agricultural
products
Use synonyms
 had a small positive change at only 0.81%,
textiles
Use synonyms
 surged rapidly at 15.24%, making
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
textiles
Use synonyms
 the fourth place, overtaking the agricultural
products
Use synonyms
 group.
Conversely
Linking Words
, the only
products
Use synonyms
 that declined over the given period
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
gems
Use synonyms
 and jewellery, decreasing by 5.18%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, gems, products, textiles with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • export categories
  • percentage change
  • value
  • economic indicators
  • manufactured goods
  • commodities
  • trade balance
  • fluctuations
  • economic conditions
  • domestic production
  • trade policies
  • year-over-year comparison
  • significant increase/decrease
  • trends
  • global market
  • comparison
  • economic implications
  • patterns
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