IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Internet social media have become very popular. To what extent do you think this is a good or bad thing? Why do you think this is the case? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In
contemporary
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the contemporary
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 era,
internet
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the internet
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 is taking over the world. Social
media
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 become very popular among
people
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 of all age groups,
people
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start
Wrong verb form
have started
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 getting addicted to social
media
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, which is not a positive trend. I personally believe that
,
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apply
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 It is not a good thing and
i
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I
show examples
 will support
this
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 notion in upcoming paragraphs.
Firstly
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, excess of everything is bad, nowadays
people
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 spend most of their time scrolling on social
media
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, which
end
Correct subject-verb agreement
ends
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 up
in
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apply
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reducing productivity and
in person
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in-person
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 gatherings. Before social
media
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 popularity, folks used to read books, explore new places and
interacting
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interact
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 with other minds. Which was contributing towards their cognitive abilities.
In
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contrast
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contrast,
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 now they are spending most of their time on social
media
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.
In addition
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 to that, social
media
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 is fooling
people
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 by showing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fake content and tempting lifestyles, which
further
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 leads to the
desires
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desire
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of having
Change preposition
to have
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same
Correct article usage
the same
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 life and when they
did
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do
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 not get that,it leads to depression and anxiety.
On the other hand
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, social
media
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 popularity
have
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has
show examples
 some positive impact as well.
For instance
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,
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 helps
people
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 across the countries to communicate. As globalization is at its peak, families are spread into the
diifrent
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different
 corner of
world
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the world
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 for study or work. Social
media
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 helps to keep
heart
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the heart
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 united. I live in
foreign
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a foreign
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 country and
what's app
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WhatsApp
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 helps me to communicate with my family face to face,
i
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I
show examples
 can not imagine my life without these social
media
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 platforms.
To conclude
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, social
media
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becomes
Wrong verb form
has become
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 an indispensable part of our
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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, but its
overusage
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overuse
over usage
 leads to depression and
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 of time.

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task achievement
Consider providing a more balanced view by including more specific examples of both the positive and negative impacts of social media.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to connect your ideas more clearly. For example, use transitional phrases to guide the reader through your points.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance your introduction to clearly outline the key points you will discuss in your essay, as this will help frame your argument more effectively.
task achievement
Ensure subject-verb agreement and correct use of articles. For example, 'social media has' instead of 'social media have.'
task achievement
You effectively express your opinion about social media being detrimental, which is a clear stance.
task achievement
Your personal experience adds authenticity to your argument and helps to support your points regarding communication.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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