IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree

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It is believed that shorter weekdays with longer
Use synonyms
weekend
Fix the agreement mistake
weekends
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 should be given to those employed. Simply, there is not much to disagree on from my perspective.
To begin
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 with, having to
work
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 for 5 out of 7 days a week sounds tiring enough,
not to mention
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 that some employees can
work
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 up to 12 hours and plus in a single shift. A major example
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 is doctors. A Doctor is capable of undergoing a 24-hour shift followed by
an
Change the article
a
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 12-hour shift back to back, needless to say, how tough the industry already is. Wouldn't it be fair for a doctor to have a longer spin? Not only Doctors but the majority of people who are employed share a very tiring
work
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 atmosphere.
Moreover
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, to ensure the efficiency and productivity of these workers, rest is crucial. Their mental status
also
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 plays a major role in how efficient they become at
work
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 and
this
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 could all be preserved by having a longer
weekend
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 in which a more balanced stress-free life is provided.
On the other hand
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, having a longer
weekend
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 could mean
work
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 would slow down in some cases.
For example
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, a chocolate manufacturer. If the employees were to have a longer
weekend
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 that would mean a slight fall in how fast they would normally make chocolate which in return, slower sales rate causing a gradual loss to
ones
Correct pronoun usage
one
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 company. Having said, both aspects could present with merits and drawbacks yet, I opine that in order to ensure a successful workspace individual’s mental and physical status should be put into consideration allowing them to rest and have a
well- balanced
Correct your spelling
well-balanced
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 life.

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your position regarding the prompt. For instance, explicitly state 'I agree' or 'I disagree' with the statement to clarify your stance right from the beginning.
coherence and cohesion
Consider enhancing your conclusion by summarizing the main points more strongly and reiterating your position on the topic.
task achievement
The essay presents relevant ideas, but it might benefit from additional examples. For instance, you might include more case studies or statistics about productivity related to shorter workweeks to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure that transitions between paragraphs and ideas are smooth to improve overall coherence. Using linking words like 'however', 'furthermore', and 'moreover' more effectively can help with this.
overall
The essay presents an interesting perspective on the topic, discussing both the benefits and drawbacks of a shorter workweek, which demonstrates a balanced view.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
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