All over the world scientists are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem affects both children and adults. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity? How could it be tackled?

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Internationally, doctors struggle with overweight which

increased

Wrong verb form

increases

show examples

to high levels among children and adults. The main reasons are watching

screns

Correct your spelling

screens

and

the

Correct your spelling

they

show examples

eat junk

food

Use synonyms

which can solve them by changing

Change the word

their

show examples

lifestyle .

The obesity

Correct article usage

Obesity

show examples

Correct article usage

a fundemental

show examples

fundemental

Correct your spelling

fundamental

problem

among

Change preposition

show examples

society . One main reason is watching TV , laptops

.iPads

Correct your spelling

iPads

and mobiles. A lot of people

sitting

Wrong verb form

sit

show examples

on the sofa

quitly

Correct your spelling

quietly

watching interesting movies for hours and eat junk

food

Use synonyms

daily.

therefore

Linking Words

, that affects

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their weight and

a blood sugar

Remove the article

blood sugar

a lump of blood sugar

a cube of blood sugar

show examples

and

Remove the article

apply

show examples

fat become over rates in

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

their bodies.

Linking Words

also

Add a comma

also,

show examples

social media TikTok , YouTube ,

instagram

Change the capitalization

Instagram

show examples

and

facebook

Capitalize word

Facebook

show examples

all

Change preposition

apply

show examples

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

helps

Correct subject-verb agreement

help

show examples

person

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

to stay with no moving . The

solutions

Fix the agreement mistake

solution

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

this

Linking Words

problem is changing their lifestyle . Make a Diet which means

eat

Wrong verb form

eating

show examples

and

avoid

Wrong verb form

avoiding

show examples

a certain

food

Use synonyms

. Eat

free sugar

Add a hyphen

free-sugar

show examples

and

free fat

Add a hyphen

free-fat

show examples

food

Use synonyms

like soups , eggs and vegetables . Avoid fast

food

Use synonyms

like pizza, burgers and chips .

Moreover

Linking Words

make

Verb problem

apply

show examples

excercise

Correct your spelling

exercise

is another solution

for

Change preposition

show examples

obesity

Correct article usage

the obesity

show examples

problem

.runing

Correct your spelling

Running

for 15 minutes every morning will help to

loss

Replace the word

lose

show examples

some calories.

Wrong verb form

Subscribing

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

club with a friend will

motivates

Change the verb form

motivate

show examples

the fat person to

continues

Wrong verb form

continue

show examples

as well as

Linking Words

try to change

life style

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

. Try to alter technology by

excercise

Correct your spelling

exercise

and

making

Verb problem

doing

show examples

yoga .

rawannaser99Sat Apr 12 2025

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task achievement

The introduction needs to clearly outline the reasons for obesity and the solutions in a more structured manner. Consider providing a clear thesis statement that summarizes your points.

coherence and cohesion

The essay would benefit from clearer paragraph divisions. Each reason or solution should ideally be in its own paragraph, allowing for better flow and clarity.

task achievement

Try to elaborate on your solutions with more detail and specific examples. This will make your arguments more persuasive and clear.

task achievement

The identification of lifestyle changes as a solution to obesity is a strong point in your essay.

coherence and cohesion

You made relevant points about modern technology's impact on lifestyle choices.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
42
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

210 words

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All over the world scientists are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem affects both children and adults. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity? How could it be tackled?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that protecting the environment is the government's responsibility. Others believe that every individual should be responsible for it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that online study is the most effective and convenient way to learn. Others believe that online study will never be as effective as learning at school, in person. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays both men and women spend a lot of money on beauty care. This was not so in the past. What may be the root cause of this behaviour? Discuss the reasons and possible results

In some countries in Europe, some children from the age of 11 or 13 go to schools to learn more practical skills that will help them get a job. Other children stay in schools which provide a more general academic education. What should schools do to prepare students for the world of work?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?