IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comprasions where relevant.

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comprasions where relevant.
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This
Linking Words
 graph demonstrates how
families
Use synonyms
 allocate their budgets among needs in various periods.
This
Linking Words
 essay will try to explain each aspect of the data. The first information relates to which needs are more important than before for people. Maximum changes are noted between leisure and housing expenditures, 14% and 8%, respectively.
Additionally
Linking Words
, household goods remain steady over time, despite 50 years.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the data indicates that there is a sharp decline in spending on food. Inhabitants are willing to consume more personal goods compared to before.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, fuel and power were exposed to a gradual decrease in 2018. Meanwhile, the transport system increased by approximately 6% in 2018 compared to 1968.
Families
Use synonyms
' weekly expenses tended to rest time from meals and cuisines. Afterwards, the graph wants to explain
families
Use synonyms
's behaviour changes during a period.
For example
Linking Words
, they almost preferred to spend their money on leisure activities, showing significant growth.
Besides
Linking Words
,
families
Use synonyms
 consumed less clothing in 2018 with regard to 1968.
Additionally
Linking Words
, in the graph, each percentage tries to replace another.
For instance
Linking Words
, food costs almost fell to low percentages
while
Linking Words
 leisure spending was clearly upward.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "additionally".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words families with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "explain" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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