IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

There have been some problems with public transport in your area recently. Write a letter to the manager of the transport company. In your letter -describe the problems -explain how these problems are affecting the public -suggest some changes that could be made.

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Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to bring your attention towards
tremendous
Correct article usage
the tremendous
show examples
 problems with
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 transport system in my region currently. I have been living in
almrah
Change the capitalization
Almrah
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 town
since
Change preposition
for
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Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
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 5 years.
First
Change the article
The first
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 problem is that there is no
bus
Use synonyms
 stop in the zone. Many
people
Use synonyms
 including me have to walk for an hour to take a
bus
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, buses do not arrive on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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time
Use synonyms
. Sometimes, buses arrive early before
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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schedule
Replace the word
scheduled
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 and
people
Use synonyms
get
Verb problem
arrive
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 late from
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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work. Even driver
operator
Fix the agreement mistake
operators
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 never wait for their commuter for a
mintue
Correct your spelling
minute
.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, some
passangers
Correct your spelling
passengers
 sheets are broken.
People
Use synonyms
 have to stand for
long
Change the article
a long
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 and it is quite hard for old
people
Use synonyms
, pregnant
lady
Fix the agreement mistake
ladies
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 and
disable
Wrong verb form
disabled
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peopl
Correct your spelling
people
 to stand during rush hours. In order to address the issues, I would like to propose some
change
Fix the agreement mistake
changes
show examples
 that could be made. It is
high
Replace the word
highly
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 recommended to build some
bus
Use synonyms
 stations. So that locals can get
Use synonyms
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
show examples
nearby
Correct your spelling
near
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 their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, You need to talk to
bus
Use synonyms
 drivers to start the
bus
Use synonyms
 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 and stop
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the
bus
Use synonyms
 stop for a
while
Linking Words
.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
show examples
this
Linking Words
, spending money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Correct article usage
the maintance
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maintance
Correct your spelling
maintenance
 of buses can help to
citizends
Correct your spelling
citizens
 especially those
people
Use synonyms
 who cannot stand for some
time
Use synonyms
. I am hoping for your positive consideration. Yours faithfully, Rupinder Kaur.

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task achievement
Consider revising the opening sentence to make it clearer and more formal. For example, 'I am writing to express my concerns about the current issues with public transportation in my area.'
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that the main points are organized clearly in paragraphs, making it easier for the reader to follow your arguments. Each paragraph should ideally focus on one main point.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance your writing style and providing clarity. For instance, instead of 'hard for old people', you could say 'challenging for elderly individuals'.
task achievement
You effectively addressed the tasks by describing the problems and suggesting changes.
coherence and cohesion
The overall message is clear and direct, which is important in a letter like this.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • plaguing
  • delays
  • frustration
  • inconvenience
  • productivity
  • rely on
  • daily commute
  • overall
  • condition
  • deteriorated
  • overcrowded
  • seating arrangements
  • compromises
  • safety
  • comfort
  • impacts
  • hygienic
  • maintenance
  • unpleasant
  • alternative
  • modes of transportation
  • congestion
  • pollution
  • fuel consumption
  • proposed
  • infrastructure
  • upgrading
  • expanding
  • cater to
  • growing population
  • focus on
  • regular maintenance
  • breakdowns
  • hire
  • train
  • customer service
  • overcrowding
  • expectations
  • managing
  • minimizing
  • appropriate action
  • reliable
  • efficient
  • sustainable
  • benefits
  • entire community
  • Thank you for your attention to this matter.
  • Yours faithfully
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