Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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Several children use mobile phones in their daily lives nowadays.

This

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is an interesting

issue

Use synonyms

that has become more serious over the past few decades.

Therefore

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, most

people

Use synonyms

are worried about

this

Linking Words

issue

Use synonyms

. In fact, Thai

citizen

Fix the agreement mistake

citizens

show examples

, especially teenagers, spend about 40% of their time on smartphones every day. I will write about the benefits and drawbacks of

this

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situation which undoubtedly lead to the solution. First of all, smartphones have significantly affected our

Use synonyms

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

Furthermore

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, they make our

life

Use synonyms

easier than before in every

sequences

Change to a singular noun

sequence

show examples

For instance

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, I will show you the online platform which reshaped our

Use synonyms

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

20 years ago. That platform was Facebook

which

Correct word choice

and

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the first publisher was Mark Zuckerberg.

According to

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the research, Thailand is

country

Correct article usage

the country

show examples

which had the most

people

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who used Facebook in the world in 2020.

This

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fact proved that smartphones have influenced Thai

people

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for many years

such

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as interacting, trading or even entertainment.

Thus

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, they benefit us very much and make our

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life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

very convenient.

On the other hand

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, those mobile phones can create some

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issue

Fix the agreement mistake

issues

show examples

Change preposition

for

show examples

our nations which make various parents

concern

Wrong verb form

concerned

show examples

. Absolutely, one of the platforms in the smartphone which causes many problems is online games.

For example

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, there have been several incidents which took

Use synonyms

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

lives in the world since the online platform was created.

In addition

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, most of the

person

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people

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who were caught said that it was because of the online games.

In contrast

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this

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was a lie because those terrorists wanted to be free from being guilty. In conclusion, mobile phones play a crucial role in modern

life

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by offering numerous benefits

such

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as convenience in communication, and entertainment.

However

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, they

also

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pose significant challenges, particularly for children and teenagers. To address

this

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issue

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, parents and educators should guide young users to develop a balanced approach, ensuring that they use technology responsibly.

chanthidasenSun Apr 13 2025

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task achievement

Expand on the reasoning behind both the benefits and drawbacks mentioned. Include more specific examples or statistics to support your claims.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to improve clarity and flow. Some transitions between ideas can be smoother.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, outlining the main points to be discussed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

8 paragraphs

307 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

online shopping seems to be replacing the traditional method of buying. however some buyers are sceptical to this practice. discuss both benefits and risks associated with online shopping

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Other believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development? Nowadays, businesses in their advertising express that their products are new in some way.

Now many people think that we are spending too much money and time on protecting wild animals. The money should be better spent on human population. Do you agree or disagree?