IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays people are using consumer goods like refrigerators or washing machines. Does this have more advantage or disadvantage?

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As technology is spreading
world wide
Correct your spelling
worldwide
show examples
,
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to
Unnecessary verb
apply
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have
Add the particle
have to
show examples
 be more materialistic,
due to
Linking Words
rising
Correct article usage
the rising
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 demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 products
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
fridge
Fix the agreement mistake
fridges
show examples
,
T.V
Correct your spelling
TVs
,
washing
Correct word choice
and washing
show examples
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
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 for
cloths
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clothes
show examples
. In
this
Linking Words
 paragraph, I will discuss more about the disadvantages and less
on
Change preposition
about
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advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
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. On the positive side,
demand
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the demand
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 electronic stuff is
upsurging day-by-day
Correct your spelling
increasing day by day
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
advancement
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advancements
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 in home gadgets make life easy for
people
Use synonyms
 who are
workaholic
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workaholics
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, refrigerators
helps
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help
show examples
 a lot to store more green vegetables and many other edible items. With the aid of
fridge
Correct article usage
a fridge
show examples
 working
people
Use synonyms
 can make their meals for 2-3 days and store them for
long
Correct article usage
the long
show examples
 term. Wherever, washing
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
also
Linking Words
 help out in washing
cloths
Correct your spelling
clothes
show examples
 on time, with auto features, which saves time.
For instance
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 report published by Canada
times
Capitalize word
Times
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shoes
Correct your spelling
shows
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 that 99%
Canadians
Change preposition
of Canadians
show examples
 use automatic
house hold
Correct your spelling
household
show examples
 amplainces which save
their
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 time. On the negative side, some
people
Use synonyms
 buy all the fancy stuff to just show off to their
neigbour
Correct your spelling
neighbour
 or to other close friends and relatives.
This
Linking Words
 type of mental ability may lead the society in wrong way
such
Linking Words
 as working more to fulfill the financial demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 new products used
in house
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in-house
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.
However
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,
this
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 seen that
people
Use synonyms
 in some
contries
Correct your spelling
countries
goes
Correct subject-verb agreement
go
show examples
 under credit just because of overspending on electrical appliances published by the Times of India.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, excess buying or usage of electronics
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 the world towards more electronic
waste
Use synonyms
. Which is
extremally danger
Replace the word
extremely dangerous
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humans and to the planet. More electric
waste
Use synonyms
cause
Replace the word
causes
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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ground water
Correct your spelling
groundwater
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 contamination,
inaddition
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in addition
 in some parts of the world
uper
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upper
 level
ground water
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groundwater
show examples
 is now not used for drinking just because of electronic
waste
Use synonyms
 around that area
such
Linking Words
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Bangladesh.
To sum up
Linking Words
, using electronic
appliacance
Correct your spelling
appliance
appliances
 is not
bad
Add an article
a bad
show examples
 thing but changing them without
reasion
Correct your spelling
reason
 is a serious issue, which leads towards more electronic
waste
Use synonyms
 and
contaminate
Change the verb form
contaminates
show examples
local
Add an article
the local
show examples
 area.

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task achievement
Consider improving the introduction to clearly state whether the advantages or disadvantages outweigh the other. It would provide a stronger overview of your position.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that supporting points flow logically from one to the next. This will help readers to follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Include more relevant examples to strengthen your points. For example, when discussing the negative aspects, you could provide a specific example of a person or a story to illustrate your point.
task achievement
You have identified both advantages and disadvantages, showing a balanced view of the topic.
task achievement
The discussion on electronic waste was relevant and demonstrated awareness of broader implications of consumerism.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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