Experts say older people were happier and healthier in the past because they did more exercises and sport ,more time with family and freinds,whereas now many suffer loniness and health problems. what are the cause of this and what are the solutions?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There
ia
Correct your spelling
is
a debate over the issue of whether children should learn a foreign
language
Use synonyms
during their early childhood or they should start learning at higher school. There are both advantages
anddisadvantages
Correct your spelling
and disadvantages
to
this
Linking Words
notion, but still, I believe that the advantages outweigh its impediments.
This
Linking Words
essay will shed light on the pros and cons before justifying my opinion. First of all, talking about the benefits, learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms
,
for
Linking Words
example
Add the comma(s)
example,
show examples
English, in early childhood can bring about certain blessings.
For instance
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
an international report published in the Dawn Newspaper, it is researched that kids till the age of four, have a drastic ability to learn more than 6 languages at a time. Their innate capabilities are highly active and they can learn 10 times faster than their adulthood. So, some schools try to introduce new curriculums and new languages during their first 4 years of education.
In addition
Linking Words
to the aforementioned reason, another cause for early
language
Use synonyms
introduction is that it
also
Linking Words
helps children to get familiar with the different accents and the grammar. Later on, during their higher studies ,they often do not have much time to pay heed towards extracurricular activities like learning a new dialect.
Moreover
Linking Words
, their vocabulary
also
Linking Words
increases with the passage of time.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, as far as its disadvantages are concerned, they cannot be overlooked. Learning a new speech pattern or
language
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
is a herculean task. In early childhood, it's quite tough for juveniles to learn a completely unfamiliar or less spoken
language
Use synonyms
i.e. a foreign
language
Use synonyms
. They should be less burdened during their early primary school. Because in
this
Linking Words
way, they would be exhausted and might get uninterested. Keeping in view all these points
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
am biased towards the idea that learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms
must be introduced as a choice to every young one so that those who learn , must learn it by heart.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
While your introduction effectively presents the topic, it would benefit from a clearer thesis statement outlining your main arguments more directly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider improving the overall flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs. Using linking words or phrases could enhance coherence.
Task Achievement
Your conclusion could be strengthened by summarizing the main points discussed in your essay, as well as restating your opinion more emphatically.
Task Achievement
The essay covers both advantages and disadvantages of learning a foreign language at an early age, showing a balanced perspective.
Task Achievement
You provided specific examples and references (like the report from Dawn Newspaper), which adds credibility to your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary
  • urbanization
  • social isolation
  • nutritious
  • communal activities
  • health problems
  • loneliness
  • depression
  • technological advancements
  • community engagement
  • processed foods
  • mortality rate
  • quality of life
  • intergenerational relationships
  • wholesome
  • retirement
  • physical activity
  • support networks
What to do next:
Look at other essays: