IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

Some people think it is the responsibility for government to ensure the people have healthy lifestyle. Other think people should have a free for their own lifestyle decision. Discusse both view and give your opinion.

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Introduction
There
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 a lot of
people
Use synonyms
think
Correct pronoun usage
who think
show examples
that is
Linking Words
 the responsibility
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 to ensure
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 have
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
lifestyle
Use synonyms
.
Other
Fix the agreement mistake
Others
show examples
 think
people
Use synonyms
 should have a free for their own
lifestyle
Use synonyms
.
Body · 1
That way of thinking can
damge
Correct your spelling
damage
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 long term, but
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 can help with
Correct article usage
the awaerness
show examples
awaerness
Correct your spelling
awareness
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 healthy
lifestyle
Use synonyms
.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 developing walkable
spacees
Correct your spelling
spaces
 for
people
Use synonyms
.
Body · 2
Moreover
Linking Words
 when
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
foucs
Correct your spelling
focuses
 on
specfic
Correct your spelling
specific
 things like that it won't help
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Body · 3
But
in anotherhand
Correct your spelling
on the other hand
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 healthy
lifestyle
Use synonyms
 is
leeting
Correct your spelling
letting
meeting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 live
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 own
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
, and the idea of
controling
Correct your spelling
controlling
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
 negative effects more than benefits.
Body · 4
I opine that
people
Use synonyms
 should have a free for their own
lifestyle
Use synonyms
 decision
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but with enough responsibility.
Conclusion
Overall
Linking Words
 humanity is more complicated than we think, and
this
Linking Words
 way is not a solution for
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 health.

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coherence and cohesion
Improve the structure of your essay by clearly defining paragraphs for your main points and ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence.
task achievement
Ensure that you present both perspectives in a balanced manner, using transitional phrases to clearly indicate when you are discussing each side.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points, which will strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic and provides an opinion, which is essential for a balanced discussion.
task achievement
You demonstrate an understanding of the complexity of the issue by recognizing both the government’s role and personal freedom.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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