IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Today many people spend less and less time in their homes. What are the reasons and what are the effects of this trend on individuals and society?

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Nowadays, the
time
Use synonyms
 that
people
Use synonyms
 stay in their homes is lower than before. I believe that there are several reasons for
this
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 phenomenon, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society and
individual
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individuals
show examples
 may be affected by
this
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 situation. 
First of all, since our society
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 become more competitive, compared with decades ago,
people
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 need to spend plenty of
time
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 working in their office.
As a result
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, the main
funtion
Correct your spelling
function
 of
house
Add an article
the house
a house
show examples
 is changed to be a sleeping area.
For example
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, employees usually contain enormous
worklods
Correct your spelling
workloads
everyday
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every day
show examples
, so they should try their best to complete them.
Therefore
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, workers may stay in the
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
 as late as possible to finish tasks, and they may not have
to
Correct your spelling
too
show examples
 much
time
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 to stay in their houses.
Second,
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because more are more
people
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 are single, they prefer to meet their friends and have some
entertainments
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entertainment
show examples
 rather than be at
home
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. In short, some
people
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 are unable to go
home
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, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others are reluctant to stay at
home
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. 
Since various workers spend less
time
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 in their houses, they may lose the chance to strengthen
relationship
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relationships
show examples
 with their families. The family connection will not be as strong as before.
For instance
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, my friend is a software engineer. He always
need
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needs
show examples
 to write programs in the office until
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
midnight, and he
accumulate
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accumulates
show examples
 a huge amount of wealth by doing
this
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 job.
However
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, he is unfamiliar with his family, since he is seldom at
home
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, and he does not have
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 opportunity to interact with his daughter. On the
soceity
Correct your spelling
societal
 side, the demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 greater houses may decrease because
individual
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individuals
show examples
 only
pursue
Change the verb form
pursues
show examples
 a place for
slpeeing
Correct your spelling
sleeping
speeding
.
As a result
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, there are numerous small apartments or
stuios
Correct your spelling
studios
may
Correct pronoun usage
that may
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 be built. In conclusion, because of working and
accompany
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accompanying
show examples
 situation,
people
Use synonyms
 spend less
time
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 in their living places.
This
Linking Words
 condition may affect family
connection
Fix the agreement mistake
connections
show examples
 and the housing demand.

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task achievement
Your essay presents the reasons and effects of people spending less time at home. However, ensure that each point is clearly stated and supported with relevant examples.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences could be structured better for clarity, particularly complex or compound sentences. Consider breaking down long sentences for improved readability.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure correct spelling and grammar throughout your writing. Revise your work for typos and grammatical inaccuracies, such as 'have become' instead of 'has become', 'workloads' instead of 'worklods', and 'seldom' instead of 'seldom at home'.
task achievement
You provide relevant reasons for people spending less time at home and their effects, showing a good understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your examples are relatable and connect well to your points about relationships and housing demands, enhancing your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • demanding job schedules
  • digital nomadism
  • co-working spaces
  • urbanization
  • commutes
  • social activities
  • entertainment options
  • technological advancements
  • sense of community
  • familial bonds
  • stress levels
  • neighborhood cohesion
  • community involvement
  • consumerism
  • public amenities
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