'People who do not use social media networks* will always fall behind in career development opportunities.' To what extent do you feel that this is an accurate and important prediction ?

In recent times, the utilisation of social media platforms
is
Wrong verb form
has been
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constantly growing thanks to the development of technology and
becomes
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has become
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ubiquitous in career progression.
Although
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connections through the internet may enable individuals to build professional relationships with employees or employers, I believe that people who are not part of those links can
also
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thrive thanks to their qualifications and work experiences.
In
Change preposition
At
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an
Correct article usage
the
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onset, internet networks are deemed as a useful means for employees since they can interact with companies .
This
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can be exemplified by the fact that popular firms including Google or Microsoft, have implemented an online system of hiring allowing individuals to get in touch with the hirer prior to
receive
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receiving
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an interview.
This
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enables the employer to have a first contact with the
applicant
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in order to evaluate his capabilities based on the company’s target.
Consequently
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, the use of social media is beneficial for career development since it encourages applicants to stay in touch with companies . People who are outside the internet network are,
however
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, not always far from being successful in their professional life because the first attribute considered for an
applicant
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is his qualifications alongside his previous experiences. Indeed, mainly all jobs require an interview to evaluate whether the
applicant
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will be a valuable employee for the company.
That is
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the reason why employers rely principally on people´s experiences and value their interpersonal skills
such
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as communication or data interpretation which are crucial within an organisation.
Hence
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, work experience
as well as
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the skills of the employee, can significantly help him to thrive. In conclusion, I believe that online networks could be a step forward in enhancing careers for individuals as they allow candidates to build relationships with firms
according to
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their targets.
Nevertheless
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, an
applicant
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's skills should not be neglected since they are the pillar of developing a career and are as important as building a professional network.

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coherence and cohesion
Consider improving the logical sequence of your arguments. Some points feel slightly disjointed, and transitioning smoothly between ideas would enhance clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to improve understanding of the main idea of the paragraph.
task achievement
While you provided good examples, try to elaborate slightly more on your points to strengthen the argument.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use a range of vocabulary and grammatical structures consistently to enhance overall readability and comprehension.
task achievement
You successfully articulated the importance of qualifications and work experience, which adds depth to your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-structured, presenting a clear overview of your stance and summarizing your main ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Networking
  • Professional growth
  • Digital footprint
  • LinkedIn
  • Online presence
  • Industry trends
  • Personal branding
  • Digital literacy
  • Direct applications
  • Privacy concerns
  • Professional image
  • Career trajectory
  • Social media platforms
  • Traditional networking
  • Information accessibility
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