IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

More and more people are migrating to big cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city. Despite many challenges, why do people move to big cities? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Since the Industrial Revolution,
people
Use synonyms
 have started to move from the countryside to cities, looking for jobs and opportunities.
This
Linking Words
 process is still ongoing today, even if, sometimes, it is not
so
Correct word choice
as
show examples
 simple as it could seem. Cities are bigger and overcrowded,
for example
Linking Words
.
However
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 continue to choose the
city
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of town for many practical reasons. Living in a
city
Use synonyms
 is not easy for everyone. Cities are big, there are
hundreds
Add the preposition
hundreds of
show examples
 roads,
dozens
Add the preposition
dozens of
show examples
 shopping centers, and many different underground lines. Sometimes, it can be difficult to find your own place inside
this
Linking Words
 big environment. Despite
many
Correct article usage
the many
show examples
people
Use synonyms
live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 there, finding new and solid friendships is complicated. The pace of life is fast, everyone focuses on his job and leaves less time for social activities. A recent research from an American university has shown that
people
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, who
moved
Wrong verb form
move
show examples
 from a small town to a big
city
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, feel alone and lost for at least six months, before finding a “comfortable environment”.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, many families still move to the
city
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. The possible – but uncertain – future that the
city
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 can offer
outweights
Correct your spelling
outweighs
 the initial difficulties. After
people
Use synonyms
 get used to the
city
Use synonyms
, they
finally
Linking Words
 can start to build their future, finding a job position, a new apartment, and new friends.
People
Use synonyms
not
Change the verb form
do not
did not
show examples
 always choose the
city
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 in
searching
Replace the word
search
show examples
 of new opportunities, sometimes they are obliged. It is more and more expensive to maintain a house in the countryside, especially when you have kids, and sometimes the
city
Use synonyms
 is cheaper. Indeed, it is an economic choice to survive.
To sum up
Linking Words
, nowadays, migration from the countryside to the
city
Use synonyms
 is still popular. Despite many concerns about living in a big
city
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 are looking for
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 and life opportunities. Their possible future is more important than any difficulty.

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coherence
Introduce more varied linking words to enhance the flow between ideas. For example, using 'however', 'furthermore', or 'in addition' can create smoother transitions.
task achievement
When presenting specific examples, ensure they are detailed and clearly connected to the point being made. This will strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
The essay effectively outlines both the difficulties of living in a city and the reasons people choose to migrate there, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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