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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
people
Use synonyms
 should be dedicated to their working area till retirement;
however
Linking Words
, some argue that
people
Use synonyms
 need to work in different companies. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, we will discuss both arguments. On the one hand, changing jobs frequently can lead to depression, so
people
Use synonyms
 who often work in different areas come across mental strain
due to
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 an unfamiliar ambience. At
first,
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many individuals face challenges, sometimes related to pressure, a monotonous life, and
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 ambition to find a better job. At
this
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 moment, a person may make the wrong decision. Many
people
Use synonyms
 know that in order to be experienced and accomplished, they have to spend many years in training, pain, and dedication, which eventually leads to confidence and
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
professional
Replace the word
professionalism
show examples
 in their major.
On the other hand
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,
people
Use synonyms
 should change the atmosphere in order to be more flexible.
Instead
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 of waiting for the
last
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 chance to have a better life, they definitely should act on time.
For example
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, it is especially common among young
people
Use synonyms
 to find a suitable job and happiness because they are in the age of exploration, where even a small piece of knowledge or mistakes may be a useful process for becoming self-ensured.
Besides
Linking Words
 that, it is the time when flexibility opens a better door of opportunity in future life. In conclusion, it is good to be professional in a specific working area, but in my opinion,
people
Use synonyms
 need to find confidence and start to take action toward their
dream
Fix the agreement mistake
dreams
show examples
.

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task achievement
Expand on your points with more detailed examples and explanations to strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Consider using more varied linking words and phrases to enhance the flow between ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that is developed throughout.
task achievement
You've effectively addressed both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your viewpoint well, tying together your arguments effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Longevity
  • Corporate ladder
  • Adaptability
  • Comfort zone
  • Professional network
  • Diverse skill set
  • Industry exposure
  • Innovation
  • Resilience
  • Seniority
  • Job market
  • Career trajectory
  • Company culture
  • Professional growth
  • Job security
  • Promotion prospects
  • Cross-functional experience
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