IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

People differ in their beliefs, which can be obvious in the patterns that they show. Some people think it is better to accept certain tragic facts like lack of income, or bad situations. Others believe it is better to try and enhance
such
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 situations. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both views provide examples and give reasons why I totally support the second. On the one hand, contentment is crucial for everyone to deal with and be satisfied with their circumstances.
However
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, the main reason behind that concept stems from literature to make them more comfortable especially when individuals are struggling and suffering in their lives. To illustrate that, if someone feels helpless or powerless
due to
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 a setback, that will make him get through that period of his life to continue and move on.
On the other hand
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, life requires resilience and perseverance to achieve goals, people have to fight and stand up every time; so they should not let one or two setbacks get them down.
For instance
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, if a freshman in college fails in one course
that is
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 not the end of life; he has to move on and continue his learning journey. In my opinion, I think we have to have a significant motivation about our lives and the future, Because, we are the ones who make the future and we can change it into a bright future.
To sum up
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, giving up is not a solution; we have to try, sometimes we can take it as a temporary solution but not forever.

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task response
Your introduction presents the topic, but you could improve it by stating your opinion more clearly. Make sure to clearly separate both views before expressing your stance.
task response
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea that's well-developed. Provide more examples to strengthen your arguments, particularly in the paragraphs discussing the benefits of accepting a bad situation.
coherence and cohesion
Use connectors and transition phrases more effectively to guide the reader through your arguments, helping with overall coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Strengthen your conclusion by summarizing the main points discussed and restating your opinion more explicitly, giving a lasting impression.
task response
You presented a balanced view by discussing both perspectives on the topic, which shows an understanding of the complexity of the issue.
task response
Your use of examples, like the freshman in college, is effective in illustrating your points and makes your arguments relatable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
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