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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar chart illustrates the percentage of how parents in a country spent time taking care their children in the evening in 2022. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart illustrates the percentage of how parents in a country spent time taking care their children in the evening in 2022. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart demonstrates the proportion of how parents in a certain country utilized
time
Use synonyms
 looking after their kids in the evening in 2022.
Overall
Linking Words
, mothers spent the greatest percentage of their
time
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the four categories compared to fathers.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is evident that both parents
utilized
Verb problem
spent
show examples
 most
time
Use synonyms
 playing
games
Use synonyms
 with their children in the evening.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, mothers used nearly three-quarters of their moment in dressing the children which accounted for almost three-fold of the duration they utilized in playing
games
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
time
Use synonyms
 spent by fathers playing
games
Use synonyms
 and preparing for bed equalled approximately 5%
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 was half of the moment spent with the kids doing homework.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, both parents spent the most
time
Use synonyms
 with their juveniles playing
games
Use synonyms
, at 70%,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 contributed to almost half of the homework period.
However
Linking Words
, the amount of
time
Use synonyms
 used in dressing recorded the lowest at just above 20%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, games with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • bar chart
  • Percentage
  • Parents
  • Spent time
  • Taking care
  • Children
  • Evening
  • 2022
  • Summarise
  • Information
  • Main features
  • Comparisons
  • Relevant
  • Patterns
  • Trends
  • Highest
  • Lowest
  • Activities
  • Gender
  • Conclusion
  • Findings
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