IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show the proportion of people’s total spending in a particular European country was spent on different commodities and services in 1958 and in 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main featureand make comparisons where relevant

The charts below show the proportion of people’s total spending in a particular European country was spent on different commodities and services in 1958 and in 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main featureand make comparisons where relevant
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The pie charts
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
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 the percentage of
individual's
Correct article usage
an individual's
show examples
 total spending on various goods and services in a certain country in Europe in 1958 and 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, people spent largely on housing during the two years
while
Linking Words
 entertainment accounted for the least in the expenditure.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, services
such
Linking Words
 as housing, transportation and luxury items experienced a substantial rise in their spending from 1958 to 2008.
In addition
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 contributed to nearly one and
half-
Correct your spelling
half
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 fold of the increment of their initial value recording at 32%, 17% and 17% correspondingly.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, money spent on food in 1958 contributed nearly 3% of the total expenses but tremendously plummeted to 12% by the end of 2008 which was nearly a third of its original cost.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the clothing and entertainment
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
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also
Linking Words
 saw a remarkable decrease to 16% and 6% respectively,
although
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people spent almost half in the entertainment sector in 2008 compared to 1958.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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