Question: Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Other believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Answer: Many individuals believe that competition is beneficial,

while

Linking Words

you work, learn at

school

Use synonyms

and other life aspects.

Whereas

Linking Words

, others consider being in

team

Add an article

a team

the team

show examples

and

cooperate

Wrong verb form

cooperating

show examples

better than competing

each

Change preposition

with each

show examples

other. I discuss both points of view and express my opinion. On

one

Use synonyms

hand, comparison increases productivity in different fields of life, as

this

Linking Words

Remove the article

apply

show examples

human nature to be spatial. If

teacher

Add an article

a teacher

the teacher

show examples

makes races in

school

Use synonyms

, all students will do their best to be the first and win the trophy.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, for employees, when they compete

each

Change preposition

with each

show examples

other, no need for continuous observation by employers because

every

Correct your spelling

everyone

show examples

one

Use synonyms

notice

Change the verb form

notices

show examples

the

Correct your spelling

each

show examples

other. Another example,

football

Add a missing verb

is football

show examples

teams always have to do their best,

while

Linking Words

all

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

the audiences assess their achievement whether win or lose the match, as it is a competition between two teams.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, in

cooperation

Use synonyms

every

Replace the word

everyone

show examples

one

Use synonyms

in the team

learn

Change the verb form

learns

show examples

the other.

In other words

Linking Words

, fast achievement because of teamwork.

In addition

Linking Words

, value and responsibility

Change the verb form

are

show examples

precipitated in

team work

Correct your spelling

teamwork

show examples

Consequently

Linking Words

, they support and protect each other.

For instance

Linking Words

Use synonyms

school

Correct article usage

a school

show examples

project, which

made

Add a missing verb

is made

show examples

by more than

one

Use synonyms

student, is a good opportunity to learn

cooperation

Use synonyms

between them, and

thus

Linking Words

in return learn how to help each other and how to reach what they need from them.

Finally

Linking Words

, they

reach

Wrong verb form

reached

show examples

the goal In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

competition

increase

Change the verb form

increases

show examples

productivity, in my opinion, I consider that

cooperation

Use synonyms

in teamwork is better. The more

cooperation

Use synonyms

, the less time

spend

Wrong verb form

spent

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

achievement. In return,

this

Linking Words

teach

Change the verb form

teaches

show examples

them

characteristic

Correct article usage

the characteristic

show examples

behaviour of being helpful. I suggest to

learn

Verb problem

teach

show examples

children in

school

Use synonyms

and in their houses

Change preposition

apply

show examples

parents and teacher

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

values and precipitate

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

as a

Linking Words

result

Add a comma

result,

show examples

children will do the same when they grow up

Change preposition

show examples

work.

smr.salman9Thu Apr 17 2025

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Task Achievement

Try to improve the clarity of your ideas by solving grammatical mistakes and enhancing vocabulary usage. Make sure to express your opinion more explicitly and encourage smoother transitions between your points.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure. Each paragraph should focus on a specific aspect of the argument, and you might want to include clearer topic sentences.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on using a broader range of vocabulary and more sophisticated sentence structures to make your writing more engaging.

Task Achievement

Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion by summarizing the two perspectives on competition and cooperation.

Task Achievement

You provide relevant examples to support both viewpoints, which is a strength in your argumentation.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

287 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

innovation
productivity
excel
outperform
advancements
academic standards
work ethic
stress
anxiety
unhealthy rivalries
harmonious
supportive
collaborative learning
social skills
communication skills
sense of community
collective goals

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Question: Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Other believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that because some children find some subjects such as mathematics and philosophy difficult they ought to be optional instead of compulsory. To what extent do you agree?

The crime rate nowadays is decreasing compare to the past due to advanced technologies which can prevent and solve crime. Do you agree or disagree?

Around the world it is likely that more adults will work from and more children will study from home as computer technology become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think it is a negative or a positive development?

Some people think that the Olympic Games can bring nations together. Others, however, think that it is a waste of money. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Write an essay with no less than 250 words.

Financial education should be included as a mandatory subject in schools to prepare students for managing money effectively. To what extent do you agree or disagree?