IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information on numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020

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The line chart provides key information about the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
participants
Use synonyms
 for various five activities at
social
Add an article
a social
show examples
 centre in Melbourne
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Australia between 2000 and 2020. The units are measured in
Correct article usage
the numbers
show examples
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
participants
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
if
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
participants
Use synonyms
 in
film
Correct article usage
the film
show examples
 club
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 the highest across the years.
In addition
Linking Words
, the number of
participants
Use synonyms
 in table tennis
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 few and increased dramatically
overall
Linking Words
 the years,
whereas
Linking Words
 amateur dramatics
participants
Use synonyms
 started with
modest
Add an article
a modest
show examples
 amount and there was a
dramatical
Correct your spelling
dramatic
show examples
 decrease throughout the years.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, film club
participants
Use synonyms
 exhibited about 65
participants
Use synonyms
 in 2000 and stayed nearly constant in 2020. Musical performances
was not exist
Change the verb form
did not exist
show examples
 in 2000 and started to appear in 2005 till
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
about 25 in 2020. In terms of martial arts and amateur dramatics
participants
Use synonyms
, there were started with roughly 35 and 25 alternatively and remained nearly steady
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2005,
while
Linking Words
 there was a
dramatical
Replace the word
dramatic
show examples
 decline in amateur dramatics
participants
Use synonyms
 to less than 10 in 2020. Table tennis
participants
Use synonyms
 witnessed a significant drop to less than 10 in 2020.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words participants with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • participants
  • social centre
  • comparison
  • trends
  • consistently popular
  • gained popularity
  • lost popularity
  • community interest
  • availability of facilities
  • social factors
  • economic factors
  • external events
  • economic downturns
  • health crises
  • demographic changes
  • aging population
  • marketing
  • community outreach programs
  • participation rates
  • Melbourne
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