IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. (Line graph)

The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. (Line graph)
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The line graph provides information with data about the number of
enquiries
Use synonyms
 received by the person,
letter
Change preposition
by letter
show examples
 or email and by telephone in one city in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half a year .
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that the number of
enquiries
Use synonyms
 by person and telephone increased over
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 period shown .
In contrast
Linking Words
, Tourist Information Office has
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
Use synonyms
enquiries
Correct quantifier usage
number of enquiries
show examples
 received by letter or email.
To begin
Linking Words
with
Add a comma
with,
show examples
 a detailed analysis of, the graph illustrates that the most striking trend is that there was by
Add an article
the individual
show examples
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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, which increased dramatically from just over 400 in January to reach a peak
1900
Change preposition
of 1900
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in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
 shown.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the number of
enquiries
Use synonyms
 by telephone was
mild
Change the word
mildly
show examples
 fluctuating,
Linking Words
initially
Add a comma
initially,
show examples
 there was a slight decline by 100 ,
then
Linking Words
 in February month increased sharply to 1000 and remained unchanged until April. After that,
this
Linking Words
figur
Correct your spelling
figure
 witnessed went up by a
further
Linking Words
 200 in
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
June.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 Tourist Information Office has
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
 calling by email and letter and
this
Linking Words
 percentage
reducing
Wrong verb form
reduced
show examples
 throughout the period,
for example
Linking Words
 for
this
Linking Words
 situation,
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 first three months there was a gradual decrease in
enquiries
Use synonyms
 received from 900 to almost 700 , before once again dropping to slightly under 400 and
then
Linking Words
 remaining at
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
 level to the end of decade given.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words enquiries with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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