IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Not enough students choose science subjects in universities in many countries. What are the reasons and what are the effects to the society?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is an ongoing debate about whether
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not enough
students
Use synonyms
 choose
scince
Correct your spelling
science
subjects
Use synonyms
 in universities in many
countries
Use synonyms
. Some people think that reason
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
 clear .
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the
veiws
Correct your spelling
views
 and give my own opinion . Many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
students
Use synonyms
not
Change the verb form
do not
did not
show examples
 choose
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
science
Use synonyms
subjects
Use synonyms
 in many universities in many
countries
Use synonyms
 , sometimes that
happend
Correct your spelling
happens
happened
 because
something
Change preposition
of something
show examples
 in the past so the reason
not
Change preposition
for not
show examples
 specific things
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
could be that
because
Correct pronoun usage
it because
show examples
 is the teacher
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
 good , or the
science
Use synonyms
 not
intersting
Correct your spelling
interesting
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 them .
They
Add a verb
They are
They were
show examples
 not
sucssful
Correct your spelling
successful
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
science
Use synonyms
 like math some of
Use synonyms
students
Add an article
the students
show examples
heat
Verb problem
hate
show examples
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
subjects
Use synonyms
 because they think it is difficult . Or biology
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
 more like it because they think it
just
Add a missing verb
is just
show examples
 for
medicine
Replace the word
medical
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 and
that is
Linking Words
 not right . The effects
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society because
they
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
 are not enough
students
Use synonyms
 to be a doctor or anything
els
Correct your spelling
else
show examples
 like teachers of
science
Use synonyms
subjects
Use synonyms
not
Add a missing verb
are not
show examples
 enough and all
countries
Use synonyms
 need to the
students
Use synonyms
 learn
science
Use synonyms
subjects
Use synonyms
 .
As a result
Linking Words
, the
countries
Use synonyms
wll
Correct your spelling
will
 be weak and not have enough employees .
As a result
Linking Words
, there are be
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 and that can be bad for all people if we have something emergency it
was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 not
fast
Correct article usage
a fast
show examples
 response , we need to
healp
Correct your spelling
help
 each other and we must
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
learn
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
science
Use synonyms
subjects
Use synonyms
 . In my opinion , sometimes
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
universities are
must
Correct article usage
a must
show examples
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
learn
Verb problem
teach
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
students
Change to a genitive case
student's
students'
show examples
science
Use synonyms
subjects
Use synonyms
 because we need to make our country
is growing
Wrong verb form
grow
show examples
 and we should
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
improve it because if we do not like
this
Linking Words
 we will
file
Verb problem
fail
show examples
 and
this
Linking Words
 way not good for us and
everone
Correct your spelling
everyone
hope
Correct subject-verb agreement
hopes
show examples
 to be successful so the student should learn
science
Use synonyms
subjects
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines the main points to be discussed in the essay. Better clarity will enhance the reader's understanding.
coherence and cohesion
Work on structuring your paragraphs more clearly. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea and be logically connected to the others.
task achievement
Expand on your ideas with more specific examples or explanations to illustrate your points. This will make your arguments more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Check your grammar and spelling. Improving accuracy will make your writing clearer and more professional.
task achievement
You have successfully identified a relevant topic and shared your opinion, which is essential for this type of essay.
task achievement
You have made a good attempt to discuss both the reasons for students not choosing science subjects and the effects on society.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Lack of interest
  • Motivation
  • Perceived difficulty
  • Career guidance
  • Diverse opportunities
  • Social media influence
  • Trendy fields
  • Outdated curriculum
  • Modern relevance
  • Engagement
  • Technological advancement
  • Economic growth
  • Public health
  • Innovation
  • Sustainability
  • Skilled workforce
  • Knowledge economy
  • Research and development
  • Scientific literacy
  • Global competitiveness
What to do next:
Look at other essays: