IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There is no denying the fact that the packaging of goods is putting our world in danger.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that society believes that the packaging of goods should be reduced, and the
manufacturers
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Use
Use synonyms
 synonyms It is important to
use
Use synonyms
 synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and
use
Use synonyms
 the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score. and supermarkets are in charge of it, there is
also
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 an argument that the
customers
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 are in charge of packaging and they can take action to reduce it.
This
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 essay will analyse the topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On the one hand,
people
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 tend to accuse shops of destroying the environment.
In other words
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, the packaging is controlled by supermarkets, and they are responsible for using harmful materials to create grocery
bags
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.
In addition
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, nowadays
manufacturers
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 do not care about nature, and they can be greedy.
For example
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, creating shopping out of cheap plastic
besides
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 the fact they know
customers
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 would throw them.
On the other hand
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,
people
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 who care about nature suggest that
people
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 should cut off plastic
bags
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. It is
also
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 possible to say that the
customers
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 are just encouraging
manufacturers
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 to
use
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 more packaging for their goods, which leads to making more of those
bags
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.
Moreover
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, there are alternatives for one-
use
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 packaging materials that can be less of a danger to the environment.
For Instance
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, wood can be used to create durable baskets that can be used multiple times by
customers
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, by
then
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manufacturers
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 will have no reason to keep traditional packaging.
To sum up
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, there is no easy answer to
this
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 question. On balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that even though the shops and
manufacturers
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 are responsible for creating the
bags
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 many
people
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 keep using them.
However
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, if demand was less
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traditional packaging,
manufacturers
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 would stop providing them

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task achievement
Consider providing a clearer thesis statement in your introduction to guide the reader about your stance on the issue more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure good topic sentences in each paragraph to clearly indicate what each section will discuss and to enhance logical flow.
language
Try to incorporate a wider range of synonyms and varied sentence structures to demonstrate a stronger lexical resource.
task achievement
You successfully addressed both views on the topic, which shows a comprehensive understanding of the issue.
task achievement
Your essay includes relevant examples, which effectively support your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
The overall structure of your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, which helps the reader follow your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sustainability
  • Eco-friendly
  • Carbon footprint
  • Excessive packaging
  • Biodegradable materials
  • Corporate social responsibility
  • Consumer advocacy
  • Environmental stewardship
  • Waste reduction
  • Recycling initiatives
  • Green practices
  • Minimalist lifestyle
  • Resource conservation
  • Sustainable consumption
  • Packaging alternatives
  • Regulatory measures
  • Ethical choices
  • Environmental impact assessment
  • Renewable resources
  • Compostable packaging
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