IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Influence of human beings on the world's ecosystem is leading to the extinction of species and loss of bio diversity. What are the primary causes of loss of bio-diversity? What solutions can you suggest?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The impact of human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
is effected
Verb problem
apply
show examples
on the ecosystem,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is slightly contributing to the extinction of species and biodiversity loss.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there are various reasons and interactions
from
Change preposition
between
show examples
 humans that
make
Verb problem
cause
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
natural problems.
Hence
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 essay will describe based on the primary causes of
loss
Correct article usage
the loss
show examples
 of biodiversity and
purpose
Correct article usage
the purpose
show examples
 of
solutions
Use synonyms
. Starting with causes, all people in the world have used natural resources to live in general for a long time,
such
Linking Words
 as water, electricity, or energy.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, we have created
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pollution either from daily
routine
Fix the agreement mistake
routines
show examples
, like driving a car, smoking,
or
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
cooking or factory, like manufacturing, or waste management which has been done until
present
Correct article usage
the present
show examples
days
Fix the agreement mistake
day
show examples
. From all that has been said, the main reason is happened from all people in either way and lightly
destroy
Correct subject-verb agreement
destroys
show examples
 the ecosystem. In the next story of
solutions
Use synonyms
, nowadays, the government has started
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 campaign to help reduce environmental impact,
for example
Linking Words
, garbage management, setting standards of factory emissions, or using non-impact natural issues as
a main resources
Correct the article-noun agreement
a main resource
main resources
show examples
 like electricity, water, or air. Even though
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 these are the
solutions
Use synonyms
 to extend the time of extinction, in the future, scientists will release the
solutions
Use synonyms
 to avoid these issues. In conclusion, every interaction of
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 makes a huge impact on environmental problems, but people have started to
aware
Add a missing verb
be aware
show examples
 of these issues until now.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay presents the main points but lacks depth and specific examples to support your arguments. Consider adding relevant examples or statistics to bolster your points about biodiversity loss and its causes.
coherence and cohesion
The organization of your essay can be improved. Ensure that each paragraph clearly relates to the previous one and that your transition words are used effectively for flow. Try to use different connecting phrases to enhance coherence.
task achievement
You clearly identified the main issue and presented a general overview of your arguments, which sets a foundation for your discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: