Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
In recent years, celebrities and influencers are
poplular
for their glamour and wealth rather than their contribution to Correct your spelling
popular
the
society. Some Correct article usage
apply
people
argue that it trigged negative Use synonyms
influances
to younger generation. I firmly agree with Correct your spelling
influences
influence
this
statement since the phenomenon Linking Words
fomulates
a wrong social Correct your spelling
formulates
formulated
formulate
vlue
that Correct your spelling
value
people
can Use synonyms
suceed
without hard work and promote materialism.
First and foremost, the allure of celebrities may pose detrimental social value that poisons young Correct your spelling
succeed
Use synonyms
people
mind, as they seem to gain fortune without any dedication. It is Change noun form
people's
prevalent
for a single Correct word choice
possible
instagram
influencer to make Change the capitalization
Instagram
billion
dollars overnight with just a five Correct article usage
a billion
minutes
short video Fix the agreement mistake
minute
by
Change preposition
with
advertisemments
inside. Young Correct your spelling
advertisements
people
may gain wrong messages that they can Use synonyms
also
be as famous as those content creators without any Linking Words
contrbution
; Correct your spelling
contribution
therefore
, they start imitating these actions Linking Words
such
as creating silly videos, which depriving their academic Linking Words
obligation
.
Fix the agreement mistake
obligations
Moreover
, celebrities and Linking Words
influancers
always live Correct your spelling
influencers
in
extravagant and luxury Change preposition
apply
lifestyes
, which attracts the Correct your spelling
lifestyles
lifestyle
younth
to worship materialism. High-profile influencers’ Correct your spelling
youth
young
lifes
are filled with convertibles, fancy Correct your spelling
lives
restuaurants
, or private planes, leading to Correct your spelling
restaurants
Correct article usage
the disatifaction
disatifaction
of young Correct your spelling
dissatisfaction
people
toward their Use synonyms
lifes
. They may Correct your spelling
lives
life
develope
low self-esteem or Correct your spelling
develop
axiety
since they cannot meet Correct your spelling
anxiety
Linking Words
this type
Fix the agreement mistake
these types
unrealistic
standards. Change preposition
of unrealistic
Evantually
, they Correct your spelling
Eventually
bagin
value Correct your spelling
begin
glmour
and wealth the most but not qualities Correct your spelling
glamour
such
as kindness, talent, and Linking Words
efforts
.
In conclusion, I completely agree that the Fix the agreement mistake
effort
populatity
of influencers’ fortune and allure only Correct your spelling
popularity
contribute
to negative effects Correct subject-verb agreement
contributes
to
Change preposition
on
young
generation, as it offers wrong social value for them to follow and Add an article
the young
bring
up Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
comparison
mindset.Correct article usage
a comparison
tsaimisha
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task achievement
Expand on your ideas with additional supporting details or examples. This will help demonstrate clear, comprehensive ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph clearly relates to the main argument and follows logically from one to the next. This improves overall coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread your essay for spelling and grammatical errors to enhance clarity.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your opinion, which is a strong start.
task achievement
You have identified important issues related to the influence of celebrities on youth, which is relevant to the topic.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite