You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. People who decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it are more likely to have a satisfying working life than those who change jobs frequently.To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

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It is believed that
people
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, who find a suitable
job
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at the beginning of their career and keep to it for
life
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, are going to achieve more goals in their working
life
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. Surely,
this
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could be a benefit, but it is not always the right path for everyone. Doing just
one
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job
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for a lifetime could be positive for someone.
Firstly
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,
people
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can focus just on
one
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task, in order to become the better version of themselves on that specific work. It is
also
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a way to set particular goals for the future,
such
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as reaching a better position.
Moreover
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,
people
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can have economic security, without suffering during a transition from
one
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job
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to another.
Finally
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, in
this
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type of situation, they do not need to change the environment every year,
on the contrary
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, they can create a real community inside the
job
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space, a second family. Changing means stress and worries, so stability is an important advantage to take into consideration.
However
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,
this
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path is not perfect for everyone. Some
people
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need to experience different roads, before finding the perfect
one
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. Being open to change is good behaviour, and with
this
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awareness
Add a comma
awareness,
show examples
you can decide to quit your
job
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if that
one
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is not right for you. Recent research from an American university has shown that the majority of
people
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, from 40 to 60 years old, who decided to change
working
Correct pronoun usage
their working
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life
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,
are now satisfy
Change the verb form
are now satisfied
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with
this
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decision, and they have found their passion.
To sum up
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,
who
Correct pronoun usage
whoever
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finds the perfect
job
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at the beginning of his career is lucky.
This
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might have economic and social benefits,
as well as
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obviously professional satisfaction.
Therefore
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, everyone needs to experience his
life
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how he thinks is better for him, and, usually, it leads to finding
dream
Correct pronoun usage
his dream
show examples
job
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.

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task achievement
Add more specific examples to illustrate your points more clearly. For instance, you could mention specific careers or studies that support your arguments about stability vs. change.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph maintains a clear central idea and connects back to your main argument to enhance logical flow.
task achievement
Consider refining your conclusion to clarify your stance more explicitly. While you summarize, it could be clearer on what you ultimately believe regarding the debate.
content
Your essay presents a balanced view on the topic, considering both sides of the argument, which is commendable.
structure
Your introduction and conclusion provide a clear overview of your discussion, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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