IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

For many people, the reason they work hard is to earn money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is no denying that
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
work
Use synonyms
 hard to earn
money
Use synonyms
, and it
depands
Correct your spelling
depends
 on what job they are working in ,
for
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
 that has been working in
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
 section
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
strees
Correct your spelling
stress
Linking Words
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 doctors , comparing between the two jobs we all know that doctors have high salary
then
Linking Words
 teacher because the
work
Use synonyms
 hard more
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 teacher . And there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
hard working
Add a hyphen
hard-working
show examples
 jobs more
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 these two
that
Linking Words
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
hard working
Add a hyphen
hard-working
show examples
 employees with less earning of
money
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as builders or farmers. I disagree with the people
they
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
saying
Wrong verb form
say
show examples
 that you have to
work
Use synonyms
 hard to gain
money
Use synonyms
, as
revlotion
Correct your spelling
revolution
revelation
 of the internet there is
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
a lot
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of different
Correct your spelling
resources
resourses
Correct your spelling
resources
 To gain
money
Use synonyms
 from it with little
Change preposition
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
hard
Replace the word
work
show examples
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as
Correct article usage
a youtube
show examples
Correct article usage
a youtube
show examples
youtube
Correct your spelling
YouTube
show examples
 streamer you can find
Correct article usage
an influncer
show examples
influncer
Correct article usage
an influncer
show examples
 that will pay you
while
Linking Words
 you staying at home and it
dosent
Verb problem
does not
show examples
 require much
Change preposition
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
hard
Replace the word
work
show examples
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
 or you can
Correct your spelling
spend
speand
Correct your spelling
spend
 2 to 3
Fix the agreement mistake
hours
show examples
hour
Fix the agreement mistake
hours
show examples
 per day
Correct your spelling
on
show examples
one
Correct your spelling
on
show examples
 the stock market to earn
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 income if you learn the right strategy of
stock
Add an article
the stock
show examples
 market or
business man
Correct your spelling
businessman
show examples
, and there is
Use synonyms
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of example that not
occurring
Change the form of the verb
occur
show examples
 to me now , in my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 we have been seen that now in these days
Use synonyms
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
soureces
Correct your spelling
sources
 to earn
money
Use synonyms
 in
such
Linking Words
 small effort and
and
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
you can spend of your extra time learning
diffreant
Correct your spelling
different
 things in past
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 may agree but
nowdays
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
disgree
Correct your spelling
disagree
 with the opinion that
say
Change the verb form
says
show examples
 we have to
work
Use synonyms
 hard to earn
Use synonyms
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
money
Use synonyms
.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow of your ideas. Each paragraph should follow a clear structure and connect seamlessly to the next.
task achievement
Enhance your argument by providing more specific examples or evidence to support your viewpoints.
language use
Work on grammar and vocabulary to reduce inaccuracies and enhance clarity. This will help in conveying your ideas more effectively.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion on the topic.
task achievement
You attempt to discuss various perspectives on the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial stability
  • necessities
  • monetary rewards
  • quality of life
  • luxury items
  • dependents
  • responsibility
  • pursue
  • personal interests
  • cultural pressures
  • wealth accumulation
  • fulfillment
  • visible measure
  • correlate
  • secure future
  • comfortable lifestyle
  • entertainment
What to do next:
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