Although it is generally illegal, physical punishment continues in many countries. Some argue that parents should have the right to punish their children in this way. Do you agree or disagree?

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Although
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physical punishment has a
huge
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hugely
show examples
detrimental impact both on children and adolescents regarding
tge
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the
international and national laws some parents are
contineing
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continuing
same
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the same
show examples
behavrioal pattren
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behavioural pattern
.
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However
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However,
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some individuals still
belives
Verb problem
believe
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that parents
has
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have
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the right to act
such
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act
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acts
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. From my
prespective
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perspective
physical punishment can lead to
a
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apply
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serious mental
issus
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issues
issue
,
furthermore
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creatinng
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creating
unhealthy
relationship
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relationships
show examples
with
thier
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their
parents.
To begin
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with, it is commonly known that some nations still use the old way of parenting, the prime cause is
due to
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lack of knowledge of the consicounsis and lack of
govermintal
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government
censorship . people in undeveloped countries like
india
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India
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has
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have
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the
most highe
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highest
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rate
in
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of
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suside,
rap
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and rap
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incidents which reflects the cause of poor parenting habits causing damage to youngsters
self
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'
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esteem
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self-esteem
show examples
,
thus
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increasing the probability of
deprssion
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depression
and violent acts.
To conclude
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, old people who grew
in
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up in
show examples
abusive
family
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families
show examples
continuse
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continues
continue
to resimble the same
pattren
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patterns
, causing prim
socity
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society
opsticals
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problems
.
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Therefore
show examples
Therefor
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Therefore
show examples
i
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I
show examples
Correct your spelling
extremely
extreamly
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extremely
disagree
Linking Words
this
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with this
show examples
Correct your spelling
statement
statment
Correct your spelling
statement

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task achievement
Your introduction has a good attempt at presenting your position, but it contains grammatical errors that make it hard to understand. Try to express your ideas more clearly without grammatical issues.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly presents a single idea and supports it with sufficient evidence or examples. The points made in each paragraph seem a bit unclear and could be better structured.
task achievement
Make sure to elaborate on your points with clear examples and logical reasoning. This will strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
You have mentioned important points regarding the psychological effects of physical punishment, but it is essential to develop these points thoroughly to enhance the coherence of your essay.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic by stating your disagreement with physical punishment and mentioning its negative impacts.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • physical punishment
  • discipline
  • effective parenting
  • corporal punishment
  • psychological effects
  • long-term trauma
  • positive reinforcement
  • emotional well-being
  • cultural norms
  • human rights
  • abuse
  • open communication
  • disciplinary methods
  • societal attitudes
  • legal implications
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