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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table below shows the percentage participation of women in senior management in three companies between 1975 and 2015

The table below shows the percentage participation of women in senior management in three companies between 1975 and 2015
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The table
provide
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provides
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 information about the ratio of women participation in three
diffrents
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different
 companies Eldan
Ltd
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, Bamforth
Ltd
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 and Finsbury
Ltd
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 over a period of 30 years.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the table that Eldan companie
raeched
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reached
the tiny
proprotion
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proportion
 im one of the years, despite that the same
companie
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company
companies
 got the largest percentage in one period.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in 1975 Finsbury
Ltd
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 got a big ratio
Linking Words
then
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than
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the
Remove the article
apply
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both companies together by 16%.
However
Linking Words
 with the years Finsbury
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Ltd
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Ltd's
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grow
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growth
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 in tall reached 26% in 2015
wich
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which
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 is the lowest number
in
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apply
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thes
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this
the
 year
on the other hand
Linking Words
, the two companies got 100
percent
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per cent
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 in the same year which is 64% for Eldan and 46% for
Banforth
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Danforth
. From 1980 to 2000
eache
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each
companie
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company
grow
Wrong verb form
grew
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 in tell 2015
in addition
Linking Words
, in 2000 Finsbry had
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a significent
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significent
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significant
 drop
about
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of about
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 2% but
othere
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other
there
 groups
increside
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increased
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words ltd with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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