IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Overpopulation of urban areas led to numerous problems . What are the problems faced by urban people due to overpopulation ? Suggest ways by which governments and individuals can tackle this problems ?

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Population
Use synonyms
 explosion is one of the unfavourable
factor
Change to a plural noun
factors
show examples
 in the world. There are many harms
due to
Linking Words
dense
Correct article usage
the dense
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern
regions
Use synonyms
. It
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
cause
Replace the word
causes
show examples
 less of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
business opportunities for
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
furthermore
Linking Words
, governments reduce their attention
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 other
regions
Use synonyms
. The problems of the dense
population
Use synonyms
 lead to several issues.
First,
Linking Words
If
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humans live in the same places, they
require
Verb problem
have
show examples
 many requirements which
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
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 the services can not be enough for all, but to talk about the most crucial point, they might face an
inhibits
Replace the word
inhibition
show examples
 to
find
Wrong verb form
finding
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 jobs which results in the problem of "unemployment'.
Second,
Linking Words
governments often do not give equal concern about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
uncivilized countries
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 I believe
the
Add a missing verb
is the
show examples
 main reason why people tend to move to more alive
areas
Use synonyms
. It is suggested that the
pervious
Correct your spelling
previous
show examples
 trouble can be handled through
implementation
Add an article
the implementation
show examples
 of
two
Use synonyms
 effective solutions. To deal with the first problem the governments and the employers must
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
distribute the jobs to
two
Use synonyms
 types of locales regarding the requirements of each place.
And
Correct word choice
Also
show examples
also
Linking Words
, for the second trouble, the administrations have to provide life means in the isolated
areas
Use synonyms
 to encourage
Correct article usage
the publics
show examples
publics
Fix the agreement mistake
public
show examples
 to live there to avoid overpopulation. To recapitulate, lack of work in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern
areas
Use synonyms
 and lack of life means are the
two
Use synonyms
 motivations that make people prefer to reside in the urban
areas
Use synonyms
. There are
also
Linking Words
two
Use synonyms
 ways to take on the problems, giving out occupations among
areas
Use synonyms
, and
offer
Wrong verb form
offering
show examples
 life means in other
regions
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, raising public awareness about the benefits of relocating to less crowded
regions
Use synonyms
 can play a significant role in achieving balanced
population
Use synonyms
 distribution.

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task achievement
The introduction could be clearer by stating the main problems of overpopulation explicitly, as well as the solutions that will be discussed. This would provide a clearer roadmap for the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that outlines the main point. This will improve the logical flow and make it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention specific services that are affected by overpopulation or provide examples of programs that have successfully reduced urban overpopulation in other countries.
task achievement
The essay addresses both problems and solutions related to urban overpopulation, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.
task achievement
You have touched on the significance of equal concern for uncivilized areas, which shows insight into the socio-economic factors behind migration to urban areas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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