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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table below gives information about the three countries with the highest populations. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.

The table below gives information about the three countries with the highest populations. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.
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The table illustrates the details
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the highest public in three nations namely
China
Use synonyms
,
India
Use synonyms
, and
United
Correct article usage
the United
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state
Fix the agreement mistake
States
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 of America. First of all,
China
Use synonyms
 has
highest
Change the article
the highest
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 population
with
Change preposition
of
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 1,415 billion,
whereas
Linking Words
United
Correct article usage
the United
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state
Fix the agreement mistake
States
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 of America has
lowest
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the lowest
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number
Use synonyms
 of citizens with 327 million. Meanwhile,
India
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 has
high
Correct word choice
a higher
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populance
Correct your spelling
population
 than America with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of 1,354. Moving forward to community increase since 2017,
India
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 had inclined society with 1.11% from 2017,
while
Linking Words
 only 0.39%
citizens
Change preposition
of citizens
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 surged in
China
Use synonyms
 since 2017. In
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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, 0.71% population grew from 2017.
India
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 has 455 people per square
kilometres
Fix the agreement mistake
kilometre
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 which is the highest
number
Use synonyms
 than other two nations.
Linking Words
Although
Correct word choice
However
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,
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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 has only 36 density. In
case
Correct article usage
the case
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 of land area,
China
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 and
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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 have more square kilometres (9,388 and 9,147), yet
India
Use synonyms
 covers only 2,973 million. If we look at the urban society,
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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 is
on
Change preposition
in
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 high
porportion
Correct your spelling
proportion
 with 83%,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
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India
Use synonyms
 holds only 32% and
Use synonyms
china
Capitalize word
China
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 has 58% of urban residents.
Overall
Linking Words
,
China
Use synonyms
 has
highest
Change the article
the highest
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 population
whereas
Linking Words
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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 has big
number
Use synonyms
 of urban
society
Fix the agreement mistake
societies
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. Even though
India
Use synonyms
 has
highest
Change the article
the highest
show examples
 density.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words china, india, number, usa with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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