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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The pie chart illustrates the proportion of
dance
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
' locations,
while
Linking Words
 the bar chart presents the number of young
students
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 who attended
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each type of
dance
Use synonyms
 in a town in Australia.
Overall
Linking Words
, private studios were the most common place where
dance
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
 took place.
While
Linking Words
 ballet was the most popular type of
dance
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 among
students
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who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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aged under 11, young people who were 11 to 16 years old preferred modern
dance
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. Private studios were the most preferred location where
students
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 engaged in
dance
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classes
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, comprising almost 50%. School halls where
students
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 participated in
dance
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classes
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 after school accounted for 24% of the total share, followed by community halls &
other
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others
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 which made up only 18%. The remaining 10% of
students
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 went to college-based studios, making it the least commonly used. In terms of types of
dance
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classes
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, around 600
students
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 who were in a younger group (aged under 11) chose ballet, making it the most popular
dance
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 class. Tap and modern
dance
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recorded
Add a missing verb
were recorded
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over
Change preposition
by over
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 400 and 300 younger participants respectively.
In contrast
Linking Words
, modern
dance
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 was the dominant dancing type for an older group (aged 11 to 16) with more than 500
students
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. Just over 400 and nearly 300 11-to-16-year-old
students
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 joined tap and ballet
dance
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 respectively.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words dance, classes, students with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • attending
  • currently
  • location
  • variety
  • ballet
  • hip-hop
  • contemporary
  • jazz
  • venues
  • popularity
  • attendees
  • juxtaposing
  • correlating
  • proximity
  • cultural influences
  • trends
  • anomalies
  • monopoly
  • proportion
  • distribution
  • enrollment
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