IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities around thw world are now one big traffic jam. How true do you thing this statement is? What measures can governments takes to disocurage people from using their cars?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In my opinion, it is true that over the
last
Linking Words
 three
decades
Add a comma
decades,
show examples
 there has been a rapid
increase
Use synonyms
 in the
four wheeler
Add a hyphen
four-wheeler
show examples
vehicles
Use synonyms
 occupation and
as a result
Linking Words
 of
this
Linking Words
, the
traffic
Use synonyms
 on
roads
Use synonyms
 has massively increased. Investing in public transportation and providing free cycle stations for public use are the possible measures, which
government
Use synonyms
 should take to reduce the usage of private
vehicles
Use synonyms
. These ideas are discussed in detail in the upcoming passages.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, it is completely acceptable that in the past few
decades
Add a comma
decades,
show examples
 the counting of privately owned
vehicles
Use synonyms
 has increased
delibrately
Correct your spelling
deliberately
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in the present era, no one wants to spend time
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
travelling
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
buses
Fix the agreement mistake
bus
show examples
 because it will take double the time to reach the destination by
buses
Fix the agreement mistake
bus
show examples
 or
trains
Fix the agreement mistake
train
show examples
 as compared to
own
Wrong verb form
owning
show examples
car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
. Those who do not have their own
vehicles
Use synonyms
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
use
ubers
Correct your spelling
Uber
, rides etc., to reach
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
distant areas or the places where they are working or studying.
Hence
Linking Words
, it will
increase
Use synonyms
traffic
Use synonyms
 on the
roads
Use synonyms
.
For Example
Linking Words
; highway 401 in Canada is one of the busiest
higway
Correct your spelling
highway
highways
 in the world. To solve
this
Linking Words
 issue,
Use synonyms
Government
Correct article usage
the Government
show examples
 should
increase
Use synonyms
 investment in public transportation.
Government
Use synonyms
 should provide free bus service in
metropolitian
Correct your spelling
metropolitan
 cities
as well as
Linking Words
 in rural areas to reduce the
traffic
Use synonyms
 on
roads
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should
increase
Use synonyms
 the prices of fuel.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
Government
Correct article usage
the Government
show examples
 should reduce the fares for using trains as well.
As a result
Linking Words
 of
this
Linking Words
, people prefer taking the buses over using their own cars.
This
Linking Words
 will reduce the counting of automobiles on
roads
Use synonyms
.Today, everyone wants to save money because everything is very expensive.
Next,
Linking Words
is providing free cycle stations and cycle routes to the persons.
This
Linking Words
 is a great investment that the legal authorities can do.
This
Linking Words
 will help in air pollution reduction
as well as
Linking Words
 it will keep the individuals healthy. In conclusion, the counting of
vehicles
Use synonyms
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
 increased on
roads
Use synonyms
 in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 years.
However
Linking Words
, some steps like investing in public transportation and providing e-bikes or
cycles station
Fix the agreement mistake
cycle stations
show examples
 will
definately
Correct your spelling
definitely
 prove fruitful in reducing the
traffic
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider revising the introduction to better paraphrase the question and establish a clearer position. For example, you could state that the rise in car ownership has not only contributed to traffic congestion but has also led to various environmental concerns.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that all paragraphs maintain a clear main idea and that the ideas flow logically. A better transition between the points could enhance coherence. For instance, when you shift from discussing public transportation to cycling, a clearer transition sentence could help link these ideas together.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples or case studies to support your points. While you mentioned the busy Highway 401 in Canada, including data or statistics could strengthen the argument about traffic congestion.
content
The essay presents a relevant and coherent argument about the increase in car ownership and associated traffic problems, which is consistent with the essay question.
ideas
The suggestion to invest in public transportation and promote cycling as solutions is practical and demonstrates critical thinking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: